Currently, I work for a large company as an online psychologist, who can be contacted not only in video format, but also in a text request. The popularity of such consultations is many times greater than the face-to-face format. And there are supposed reasons for this. Of course, it is easier to formulate a laconic sentence of a request than to answer the psychologist’s clarifying questions, especially since many clients do not like questions at all and have every right to do so... A consultation where there is no specific goal, but there are accumulated emotions, unspoken phrases and A lack of communication in general is a person’s sensory sphere, “wounds” of the soul, which can be resolved using environmentally friendly methods and with the obligatory presence of a psychotherapist. But in the text, presence is not so important, what is important is the meaning, the theoretical component of the question, the supposed causes and possible ways to solve it. I offer an example of such virtual communication with a client. This is practically a monologue of a specialist who either triggers a correction or triggers the client’s emotions. But both are still better than nothing! Good afternoon! I would like to address you with the following problem. I have a stupid habit - to quickly become attached to a person, which results in emotional dependence. I tried to fight this, but in vain. What should I do in this case? Good day, dear author of the request. Your text formulates 4 problems: You are aware of two of them and openly convey them to me as a specialist: You experience addiction, track it in your behavior, in your thoughts, actions . Dependence always occurs in people who have been in dependent (codependent relationships) for some time - these are children of parents with destructive habits or children from single-parent families, children whose parents were emotionally cold, worked a lot or often went on business trips. Thus In this way, a person develops a need (from accumulated deficits in positive emotional contact) to compensate for communication. A person quickly becomes attached to friends, partners, and colleagues. At the heart of all this is a basic fear of loneliness... Your second problem, which you voice openly to me, is life in struggle. That is, you are actually fighting with yourself, and this suggests that the aggression is directed at yourself. You resist your desires, suppress them, forcibly remake them instead of understanding WHAT you are missing and GIVING IT to yourself. There is not enough communication, you are afraid of loneliness - expand your contacts and the more of them there are, the less likely you are to become STRONGLY EMOTIONALLY attached to everyone. If you have 100 contacts, then you definitely won’t have enough time for a strong connection. And thus you will saturate the deficits. The third problem is the devaluation of oneself - this can be seen in the words “stupid habit”. Usually the habit of devaluing oneself stems from distant childhood, when significant adults more often scolded and criticized than supported and tried to figure it out. All feelings and all habits are necessary and important. This is a mental need, a kind of benefit, to make it easier, more pleasant, better. And you can change the habit, not devalue it. Tell her THANK YOU because she pointed out the side of life in which there is a gap. In this case, this side of life is partnership, friendship, love, relationships. The fourth problem is to quickly become attached. Fear of passing time, the desire to seize the moment, to hold it like a bird of happiness by the tail - this also speaks of fears. Think about what you really fear about your future? Think about what you want for yourself, write goals for one year in different areas. There is a BALANCE WHEEL technique. There is self-assessment in various vectors of life. Go through it, it is publicly available on the Internet. If you have any questions about this topic, please contact!