While I was writing articles about life choices and about my own experience of choosing a life path, I thought - how is it that we end up in the wrong place? And by what signs can you sense this? Let's speculate. And let's start from the very beginning. Every person coming into this world finds himself in a family system, where by default he is assigned a certain level in the family hierarchy. At the same time, he receives the rights and responsibilities corresponding to his status and age. Any system, and in this case the family system is no different from any other, is aimed at self-preservation and constant evolution - development, since only development makes it stronger and more stable, and , which means more viable. The better a system adapts to environmental changes, the longer it lasts. At the same time, the flow of resources in the family hierarchy flows from elders to younger ones, and love, care, the number of rights and freedoms, and the number and complexity of responsibilities are distributed in the same way. Developing and adapting, the system ensures the further continuation of life, both for itself and for each of its members, including the creation by younger members of their own family systems, as a continuation of the parental one. He uses the experience that a person gains in the family system in the future and in society, observing the hierarchy, understanding who is older, who is younger, how resources, rights and responsibilities are distributed, what he has the right to claim, and what he has the right to refuse. But, and this cannot be ignored, the emergence of a new participant creates tension for other members of the family hierarchy, who have to reckon with his appearance and somehow adjust their boundaries. As if it is not enough for them to adapt to constant changes in the environment! Therefore, it happens that some elements of the system, instead of adapting to the emergence of a new element, begin to strive to adapt it. Such customization of one element of the system helps to create the illusion of an unchanged and safe environment in which you can exist without wasting unnecessary resources. But as a result, the system fails. A person who comes into this world either does not have a place, or is deprived of his rights, or is given too many responsibilities that he cannot handle, as a result of which: 🔹 he gets stuck in the place of an eternal child, finding himself not in able to receive, accumulate and distribute resources from himself to younger and weaker ones, confining the receipt of resources to himself and expecting that older ones always owe him. the place of an adult, becoming a parent to his own parents. In both cases, a person does what his elders expect of him, and in both cases he does not separate from his family system, since he either depends on strong adults or cannot leave his infantile parents, and , accordingly, experiences difficulty in creating his own family system. The flow of life in this family system stops. And this is reflected in all systems associated with it. But the cycle of experience called “Life” has already begun, the impulse to continue life is formed and launched - a person must grow, develop, become stronger, create a family, continue in life. (I just ask Here, understand me correctly - I am not calling for everyone to rush to have children. What exactly “family” and “extension of oneself” will mean for you - you have the right to determine for yourself). What will happen if this process is artificially stopped. ? Gestalt will strive for completion, the system will try to preserve itself. Created and unrealized tension cannot disappear into nowhere. Therefore, situations will be formed in the life field that force a person to solve the tasks of development and growth facing him and return to his destined place - to become an adult. +7-916-48-2-48-33.