I'll tell you a secret: I am a man. An ordinary, average, living person who is approaching the conventional “middle of life” mark. I am good and bad, evil and kind, gentle and rude, happy and unhappy, joyful and sad, patient and impulsive, you can continue as much as you like. I'm different because I'm alive. When I'm in pain, I cry, I'm sad, I suffer. When they “bite” me, I defend myself either by running away or by “biting” in response, assessing the situation and my strengths; when I am happy, I rejoice, rejoice, and admire. Is it somehow different for you? If yes, then I understand that things can vary. I believe that everything human is not alien to any person. And humanity is paramount for me in my Life. And I also have professions. Some. I am a teacher, I am a coach, I am a psychologist. I'm professional. Does this mean that my Life consists only of professions? Does this mean that year after year, day after day, minute after minute I am a teacher, coach and psychologist? Do you even believe that it is possible to be a trainer or psychologist around the clock? I don't believe. Moreover, since these statuses are the basis of my business, and I earn my living from this, my biological, human life, then I become a coach or psychologist only when there is a request for this from another person, and he has paid or is ready to pay for my professional activity. Dot. The client paid for the training, I entered the gym - I am the trainer. I opened the office and sat in the chair opposite the client who brought me money as the equivalent of payment for my and my efforts - that’s it, I’m a psychologist. Does this mean that at the same time I left my humanity “for a walk”? Have I stopped living? Not on your nelly. I just changed my priorities. In the office I am primarily a professional, but behind this I am also a person. Alive. Would you come to a mechanical psychologist? You can bring me anything into the session: your pain, aggression, joy, powerlessness, disappointment. Since I sat in my chair, I am ready for this both as a professional and as a person. I pass your feelings through my human, and then I transform it into professional, thanks to skills, knowledge and skills. If I take away the human, I will stop hearing you, if I take away the professional, then we will “drown” together in your pain, aggression, whatever else you brought me. I was taught to see bi-focally, that is, both myself and the client, without mixing him and myself in one pan, to distinguish where it is, and where it is already, or else, mine. Seeing is not about the eyes, as organs of vision. This is about seeing from the inside. Now imagine if I am a professional around the clock. Always. Every minute. Let's take a psychologist. I am a daily psychologist. That is, I always work. We take into account that they usually work for money. Then I have to stand on the street, grab people by the hands, at the initial contact, diagnose them and drag them by the hands or hair into the office with promises to cure them and demanding money from them. Introduced? Or my friends invited me to visit (although in this situation it’s unlikely), and I let’s break everyone down into molecules, speak in terms and use therapeutic techniques. Tough, in my opinion. Or with my husband, to any of his words or actions I will therapeutically nod, summarize, reflect, return feelings, projections and transferences. Imagine in your mind how long it will take for my family life to end? I remember when I was studying to become a psychologist, there was a lot of temptation to “get stuck” in this role, I wanted to train my skills. "Even train on cats." After some time, I began to notice that my friend, about to share something personal with me, began to tell me: “Just don’t talk to me like a therapist!” And then I realized that this is an opportunity to train the skill of separating professional and personal. Without separating these things within myself, I become ineffective everywhere: neither as a person (wife, girlfriend, daughter), nor as a psychologist. It’s not clear who I am, where I am, who I’m with? I would not go to any professional for help if he unknowingly mixes work and personal. And uses the working to merge the personal or, using the personal,.