From the author: How to speak so that children not only listen to you, but also hear you, and how to be able to listen yourself. As your child grows up, you are increasingly faced with the problem that he doesn’t seem to hear you... and when he hears you, he often takes what is said with hostility. But we need to talk. So how to structure a conversation correctly?! Let's figure it out. To start, just... talk. Take at least 30 minutes a day to just talk... discuss with your child what happened today, what made him happy, made him laugh, or maybe made him sad and upset. Talk about him more often. Be aware of your child’s experiences, both positive and negative. If a child comes up to you to tell you something, put aside everything that prevents you from listening. Don't rush to give advice, listen first. Talk less and listen more. Be interested in what he thinks about... and offer a topic for reflection... during the conversation, look into the child’s eyes, touch the child, hug. But don’t forget to talk about yourself: how was your day, what was interesting, remarkable, what was generally remembered. Never Don’t compare with anyone or use anyone as an example, not even yourself. “Here I was at your age...” - adults often like to repeat. Hearing this phrase over and over again, the child will feel that he is not up to par with his parent and will never become smart, successful, strong, etc. Remember that you are you, and He/She is He/She. Discuss all questions that arise in private, without involving anyone interested and ready to help with advice. Just discuss, and don’t blame or shame. Otherwise, the child will only defend himself. And there is no need to scream like that! Keep your voice down. Are you sure of what you are saying?! So there is no need to shout. Hearing a scream, a child (and an adult too) tenses up, as if hiding in a “shell.” Screaming always causes unconscious fear. If you understand that you cannot speak calmly at the moment, it is better to take a break and “cool down.” As soon as you are ready to speak calmly, proceed. Be sincere in your relationship with the child and in your expressions. Sometimes you can not say anything at all in words, but by your example demonstrate the child’s behavior that is desirable for you. Support your child's endeavors, this will strengthen his self-confidence. Your son or daughter is carried away by what you think is an unrealistic idea, don’t disappoint by saying that this idea, “to put it mildly,” is not very good. It’s better to support, tell me how best to turn this idea into reality. And even if it doesn’t work (and maybe it will work), the child will know that he is not alone with his thoughts, dreams and ideas, that his parents will always support him if there is a need for this and, thereby, your The child’s confidence in himself and his abilities will increase, and even more interesting thoughts will appear in his head, which he will be able to put into practice in the future. Know, dear parents, that there will definitely be a result from accepting, understanding and supporting the child. And soon you will begin to reap the fruits of your actions: the child will begin not only to listen and hear you, but also to seek advice, resorting to your opinion. You are guaranteed joy, pride, and self-confidence. Good luck to you in building harmonious relationships with your children!!!