In this article we will challenge the requirement “I shouldn’t worry” using the example of a dialogue with a client. The text will be useful for people with increased anxiety and anxiety disorders, as it helps to accept anxiety as a safe emotional state. T – therapist, K – client. The dialogue is entirely fictitious for pedagogical purposes. The Client's name also does not refer to any real person and is used to simplify the perception of the material. T: Natalya, we found out that you are convinced that you should not worry. You speak directly about this and, for sure, feel internal resistance and rejection of your anxiety. K: Yes, that’s true. I worry all the time and I can't do anything about it. That's why I'm here. T: I understand you. Your belief is causing you a lot of anxiety. How do you justify the belief that you should not worry? What are your arguments? K: (1) I feel very bad because of anxiety, I feel tightness in my chest, my heart pinches. T: So, I will mark your arguments so that we can understand them in detail. What other reasons do you have for believing that you shouldn't worry? K: (2) Well, I don't cope well with myself in times of extreme anxiety. (3) And I really panic at store checkouts when I go shopping myself. (4) I’m also afraid of losing consciousness in a crowded place. (5) I sleep very poorly and do not get enough sleep during anxious periods, and (6) this has a bad effect on the quality of my work. I think there are enough reasons to not want to feel anxious? T: At first glance, your arguments look convincing. But we will figure out whether there is logic in them. First, I ask you not to confuse the desire not to worry, “I wouldn’t like to worry today,” with the demand, “I shouldn’t worry today.” Do you feel the difference in the emotional response, Natalya? K. Yes, there is a difference. I really hate this state, how can I not demand from myself? T: To refuse demands, one must admit that it is irrational. Let's look at your first argument in favor of the requirement? You say, “I feel really bad because of my anxiety.” But how does it follow from this that you shouldn’t worry? K: I don’t understand your question... T: How does it follow from the fact that you feel very bad because of anxiety, Natalya, that you shouldn’t worry? Is there any logic here? If your argument supported the claim, then no one would worry. If only your health deteriorated a little, the anxiety would immediately stop. But is this really what happens? K: No, of course not! When I feel bad from anxiety, I start to worry even more. T: You see, your first argument is illogical. Just because you feel very bad because of anxiety does not mean that you should not worry. Quite the opposite: the more your health deteriorates, the more anxious you become. [You can read why this happens in my book “Self-Help for Panic Attacks” pp. 10-13.] K: Yes, that’s true. What about the rest of the arguments? They don't support the claim either? T: You are very smart. Let's not rush to conclusions. It will be useful to reflect on your arguments. You say, “I don’t cope well with myself in times of extreme anxiety.” How does it follow from this that you should not worry? K: Following your logic, Alexander, it turns out that it doesn’t follow at all. T: Why do you think so, Natalya? K: Because if my argument really confirmed the requirement, then no one would worry in this world. As soon as I lost control of myself a little, the anxiety would immediately stop. But this doesn't happen. And I demand everything, not paying attention to the reality that it should not correspond to my beliefs. T: Especially irrational demands. Reality decisively does not meet the strict requirements (beliefs) of people. There is always a possibility that the requirement will not be met. This is why you feel vulnerable to anxiety. You demand “not to worry,” but if you don’t receive it, you worry. Here's the inner one for you.