People want a lot of things. Including from you. So they ask to replace them at work, watch a creepy vanilla movie, or take the ring to Mordor. It's not a problem. If you know how to say no. Otherwise, all the honest people will come running to talk about your reliability: they will go around, touch you, and whoever is braver will sit on your back and spur you on. And you will go. If you have such difficulties, you should not give up: you have the opportunity to change for the better. Let's discuss how this can be achieved.1. Evaluate and change your attitudes. Behavior and emotions are the result of how you evaluate the situation. If you can't refuse, it's time to find thoughts that don't allow you to do so. Of course, it’s hard to refuse if you think that you should never upset people, that they will think badly of you, that your relationship with a loved one will deteriorate, that you will become useless to anyone, etc. Evaluate the thoughts you find from the outside. Is it possible to live in such a way as to not upset anyone at all? Can we read another person's mind? On what basis should he necessarily think only bad things about you? How would you handle rejection if you were him? If you notice that your attitudes do not pass the reality test, try to formulate thoughts that are more appropriate for the situation. If the thought changes, the behavior will change.2. Set your priorities. You need to understand why you should refuse. For example, think about what you would like to spend your personal time on instead of fulfilling the request. Pay attention to what you will have to sacrifice if you agree: you may be afraid of ruining your relationship with your friend by refusing, but at the same time, having agreed to help, you yourself will begin to secretly be angry with him, which does not seem to strengthen the friendship. Do not forget to weigh the other side of the coin: sometimes, despite all the reluctance, it is more profitable to agree than to refuse.3. Practice saying no. Fear and anxiety about trying to refuse will decrease only after numerous trainings. Make a hierarchy of refusal situations from the easiest to the most difficult and start climbing. In case of failures, you should not scold yourself, it is better to analyze what prevented you, make the appropriate adjustments and come back stronger.4. Be prepared for the onslaught. If you don't expect any objections after a refusal, you risk being confused by the first persistent citizen. Confusion, in turn, will reduce your confidence and only irritate the person asking, which will make it much more difficult to refuse.5. Stop. If you feel that you should refuse, but at the moment it is very, very difficult, take a time out. Say that you need time to think about the request, seek advice, etc. This will reduce the feeling of tension and pressure, which will allow you to evaluate the situation more clearly.6. Watch. Pay attention to how you feel and think when you are rejected. This experience can lead to the realization that refusal is actually not so scary and dramatic for the person asking. You can purposefully look for refusals, for example, ask the cashier for a loan, etc. Practice is encouraged.