It's all about our memory and learned maladaptive patterns of relationships in our parents' families. The memory of a traumatic event can create illusions about how we perceive other people. When experiencing violence or a threat to life, and not getting the opportunity to live the experience of security, to realize it, to share our experiences with someone safe, we adapt to reality based on the memory of traumatic events. This happens unconsciously at the level of bodily memory. The sensations associated with trauma influence our choices at the level of sensations. Sharing your experiences with someone is only one of the stages. Since physiology plays a leading role in healing trauma, as a manifestation of a natural reaction to an event that traumatizes us. Thus, a girl who has experienced sexual violence may unconsciously be afraid of all men, without exception, at the level of sensations. Any manifestation of them in her direction can feel like an attack. Or unconsciously choose men with whom the scenario of a traumatic experience will be repeated again and again. Thus desiring its completion on the one hand and showing loyalty to violence towards oneself on the other for a number of reasons. Both of these reactions are an example of maladaptation after a traumatic experience. The unfinished cycle of trauma response becomes a phantom memory that can make us feel like we are reliving the event that traumatized us over and over again. If we do not receive enough support, and do not regain inner confidence in our own ability to protect ourselves, then we seem to be stuck halfway and still looking for this opportunity to realize our salvation. If these stories remain without our attention and do not receive what is accepted call healing, then the physiology of psychological trauma will lead us into repeating scenarios. We literally intuitively choose a person who correlates with our previously experienced sensations. Because in the bodily memory of the past there remains for us an unresolved situation, and a suppressed impulse of energy that needs to be realized. We remember those people who in the past were closest to us and with whom we gained the first experience of relationships. Often these are our parents and immediate circle. And those people whose influence was authoritative or violent for us. Our perception of ourselves and others was formed from the attitude of the people closest to us and the people most important to us, and what our interactions with them were like. This becomes our earliest experience rooted in unconscious processes. As a species, we tend to repeat the behavior patterns of our parents, since the animal mechanism of perception of the world is very simple. If they do this, then it helps them survive in the environment in which they find themselves. In addition to this, situations that can traumatize us leave their mark. For a long time, our experience of perception is limited to the family and it remains in the layers of unconscious memory in the form of sensations and images. Since our survival depends on their care. For a long time we perceive them as part of ourselves, which in the future can create additional difficulties and the need for support. In addition to this, family scenarios leave their mark, and the experience that was learned in the conditions of family upbringing. As a biological species, we tend to repeat the behavior patterns of our parents, since the animal mechanism of perceiving the world is very simple. If they do this, then it helps them survive in the environment in which they find themselves. This experience either helps us cope with life's challenges and feel protected, or it becomes another maladaptive experience that needs our special attention. By processing the experience of the past, we can significantly influence our present. With respect to you, psychologist, body therapist, Olga Bychkova!