From the author: Continuing the article about “confidence and uncertainty.” The benefits and dangers of assertive behavior. Causes of insecure behavior. Rules for a confident person. The intrigue is “about self-confidence.” Based on the results of the first article, I realized that I needed to make a couple of significant clarifications of a theoretical nature. If theory interests you little, go straight to the fifth clarification, practice and real life immediately begin there. Attention! An online confidence-boosting group has been opened. First clarification. Confidence is behavior! Confidence is obviously a complex characteristic, consisting of emotional, personal (primarily self-image) and behavioral characteristics. At the same time, when observing a person, it is quite difficult to assess his emotional state, and even more so – his attitude towards his words, actions, and personality. Moreover, I am sincerely convinced that a confident person knows how to control (for example, hide) his emotions. In general, this is rather one of the goals of developing confidence - to understand (ideally form) your condition. Thus, it is absolutely logical to talk not about confidence as a complex of experiences, thoughts and actions, but about CONFIDENT BEHAVIOR. Second clarification. Again. You can feel uncertain, or you can show uncertainty. And this is not the same thing at all. Third clarification. Naturally, in contrast to confident behavior, one can distinguish UNCONFIDENT behavior. What will be the fundamental difference between them for us? Both people can feel excitement, fear, embarrassment, anger, delight, curiosity... They can feel insecure... but it is noticeable from the insecure. Roughly speaking, everyone is worried: those who are confident only within themselves, and those who are insecure also externally. Fourth clarification. different people feel insecure in different situations. Some have more of these situations, some have less. This means we can talk about MORE confident and LESS confident people. Fifth clarification: developing confident behavior skills is easy. The development of inner confidence is psychotherapy (what was discussed in the comments to the previous article). I want this article to be useful HERE AND NOW, so that after reading this text, the reader will immediately begin to benefit. Therefore, we will talk ONLY about manifestations of confidence. To become aware of your internal resources, come for consultations. Actually, the article “How to be confident and not make enemies?” Yes, actually, not at all. Being confident in general is difficult and dangerous. There are people who take advantage of your insecurity. For example: sellers who offer low-quality products. They are betting that you are embarrassed to complain, sort things out, or “download your rights.” Or that they will be able to crush you with their confidence (or arrogance, which we will begin to distinguish a little lower). The second is “for example”. Let's ask ourselves a question: Has it ever happened that I agreed to do unnecessary (someone else's) work, only because I was afraid to refuse? Not because they would punish me, but because I didn’t feel the right to say: “do it yourself.” As a result, I overwork, and my friend rests. Sound familiar? Now, let’s say I found the strength to say: “It’s not my job. I respect you and value you as a comrade. It's important for me to do my job now. Once I finish, I will try to help you.” I showed my confidence. There is a possibility that at this moment I became a poop in the eyes of a person who had previously taken advantage of my insecurity. At the same time, the main conclusion from the two given “for example” is: A CONFIDENT PERSON IS MORE DIFFICULT TO MANIPULATE. Now we will look at the rules that allow you to show confidence more often and help build more direct, open relationships with others. This will save us from “overworking” in any area of ​​life. Today's rule: I am not ideal. I am not ideal. I can worry, I can worry, I can shake with fear Yes, yes. The very recognition of this fact is already an indicator of confidence and self-control. The phrase “I’m very worried right now” itself reduces the level of anxiety and