Remember, we talked about the 4 main reasons for a child’s disobedience? Those who don’t remember can look in the articles ;) Today I want to continue the topic. And offer a method that will help determine what the reason is. It does not give a 100% guarantee, but it can be an excellent help in this matter. And the method is paradoxical: the parent needs to listen to his own feelings. Pay attention to what emotion arises when the child disobeys again. If you feel irritated, most likely your child is fighting for attention, causing inconvenience with his antics. If anger and rage are closer to you, you are more likely to encounter opposition to your over-concern. Resentment is more often a response to revenge. But if a feeling of hopelessness and despair covers you, it is highly likely , what is your response to the child’s experience of his own troubles. The main question is what next?.. Take your will into a fist and try not to react in a fixed, habitual way. That is, refuse the reaction that the child is waiting for. Because this is how the vicious circle closes: the more the parent is dissatisfied, the more the child becomes convinced of the correctness of his efforts. The more he continues to act according to the “known”, the more the parent is dissatisfied.. Breaking this circle is the task of the parent, not the child. To catch yourself at the moment when you are ready to break down again, yell, punish. And throw out the usual emotion not on the child, but on a third-party object. Here, who knows what to do: go to another room for 5 minutes, breathe, wash, rest on the pillow, knock on the windowsill... Then it will be easier to choose new words for an old situation, listen to the child, think together about what to do .And remember: if the situation gets out of control, traditional methods do not work, and tension and negativity grow like a snowball - this is a reason to seek professional help. Because understanding with your head is one thing. And this is good, but... when there are strong emotional clues, order in the head does not help much.