A dead end is something that has no prospects for further development. Today, I wanted to share with you Goulding’s “Dead Ends” theory. Gouldings say: “A dead end is a point at which two or more opposing forces meet, a point of “stupor”.” While collecting information about puffins, I looked at how Puffin birds live. So strong, brave, family-oriented, sometimes shy, smart. Just like the theory about dead ends. So, I’ll start telling you about dead ends, and how, with the help of regulations and drivers, we find ourselves in a hole. Bob Goulding divides impasses into three types or degrees: 1. A first-degree impasse is an impasse between Parent and Child (in transactional analysis, the capital letter in the words Parent, Adult, Child means that we are talking about Ego states, and not about the real parent , adult or child). Based on the reverse prescription (driver). For example, a person stops pleasing others, but begins to please himself by listening to himself and feeling his true needs. 2. A deadlock of the second degree is when the Little Professor made a decision on the order. For example, the parent's Parent sends the message "Work a lot," and the parent's Child sends the injunction "Don't be a child." The solution in this case might be: “I will never act like a child again.” That is, the child begins to behave like an adult and stops playing, because whoever plays does not work hard. In adult life, a person does not know how to relax, he is constantly tense and cannot allow himself to enjoy, or simply enjoy life. Getting out of the second deadlock requires more emotionality than the first degree deadlock. 3. Deadlock of the third degree - this is a deadlock based on a prescription. When the Parent of a child sends an injunction to the Child of the child to “don’t live”, “don’t be yourself” and “don’t be mentally healthy”. For example, when it is allowed to live with a condition. You can live if you please me, the mother tells him non-verbally (and the child lives with the unconscious thought that he needs to live for his parents and please them). This is about the parental fear in their Child that he will not cope with his mission, unconsciously sending him instructions at an early age and in a non-verbal form. And then, the person feels bad, so-called depression. He may feel worthless and claims that he has always felt this way. He is always in search of himself, and as if he is out of place. And coming out of the third dead end, a person needs to decide that he has the right to live, without conditions. When a person experiences this new sensation, for example, feeling like a worthwhile person, he experiences the pleasure of the beginning of change. It's a hard work. It requires that the therapist listen carefully and hear his client not only verbally, but also non-verbally. Diving into his early childhood experience, breathing with him on the same level, joining him. In describing dead ends, I relied on practical experience and, of course, using the Gouldings’ book “Psychotherapy of a New Solution".