If I don’t understand what my “personal boundaries” are, then it’s very easy for me to get into a situation where other people “treat me somehow”, and I squeeze myself into these circumstances, enduring what -discomfort (it can be obvious, such as physical pain, and not be felt, like: oh, my knee hurts) and having “swallowed” several such situations over the course of a couple of days.. and accumulating irritation, indignation, I can begin to lash out at child, husband or passers-by because of some little thing. In order not to hoard, you can notice in the moment that someone is starting to do something like that to you and you are not pleased with it. Yes, “I don’t like it” is a completely sufficient argument. Emotions and feelings will help you notice in the moment. They have an excellent function: to inform you about how you feel about what is happening now. Noticing violations of personal boundaries is a skill. And the next step is to learn to label it for the person doing it. Calmness in the designation is an indicator that you have already sufficiently developed this skill in yourself. If this is still difficult, start by noticing and understanding your emotions. This can be trained. Due to this, you will take responsibility for what is happening and most likely improve the quality of the life you live. Here’s an interesting example from life: Yesterday I went to the doctor because the day before yesterday I felt strange and needed to clarify “what this sensation is.” In the end, they said everything was “ok” and sent me further to a therapist and take a clinical blood test. I handed it in this morning. Everything would be fine, only our doctors love to climb onto some kind of divine pedestal and they talk to you from about that height, reluctantly and tiredly, with a breath of boredom and passive aggression: well, how can you not say for sure, should I know this? As a result, taking a history and discussing symptoms becomes an act of labeling, shaming, and passive-aggressive ridicule. There is no sincere interest at this moment to understand and give your expert assessment. “Send these doctors away! Go see the normal ones!” - I would like to say, but anything can happen and it’s not always possible to find such a doctor and go to him. Nevertheless, you can try to change the course of the situation. I told her: why are you talking to me like that? (You - ptmk I respect and recognize her position as a doctor, calm and confident tone - ptmk I am not ready to answer her questions asked in such a tone) She: what do you mean? (Frowning my eyebrows) Me: well, just like they said, what is this? It's kind of like passive aggression. (I didn’t insist and used “as if”) She showed surprise and in her eyes I saw a gleam of understanding; she knew what I was talking about. And she was a little confused, saying: well, I don’t know how to do it any other way.. Me: yes, what are you.. (this was said with a smile, appropriate at that moment). Because, in fact, it was important for me to continue the conversation. And she (the doctor) at that moment switched gears and began asking the same thing, but in a different way and helped as best she could to formulate how I could describe my feelings. She simply switched to a different mode herself. By simply saying out loud a fact that you managed to notice in a conversation, you can switch the course of the conversation (put the interlocutor in his place) and continue in a functional direction. Without getting into arguments, anger or pushing yourself. It will not work with everyone, because some doctors will not understand the word passive aggression and if so, you can use other techniques. Good luck with this research! And training !