When I have a child, I will lose the line between day and night, because for my little one it will not exist at all, and he will demand thick mother's milk whenever he wants. When I have a child, my life will become much more complicated, with many risks and unpredictability. When he cries, I will be afraid that he is in pain, but I don’t know where. And when he lies quietly and almost motionless, I will also be afraid and get up to check if he is breathing. When I have a child, my house will turn into a hurricane. Everything will be tied up, hidden, put away, but he will still find a crack and with his small fingers pull out my creams and daddy’s pieces of iron through it, enthusiastically unscrewing the caps and scattering the screws. When I have a child, I will have to walk around in funny thick pants and a stupid three-layer hat, because heels and a bonnet are not an option for an hour-long winter walk. My hips will get rounder and my hair will loosen, and I'll sigh as I watch my fit peers gracefully get behind the wheel of their shiny cars. When I have a baby, I'll be forced to quit my job, my wallet will be mostly empty, and my brain will go into standby mode from lack of use. , in which there is no place for brilliant ideas and mind-blowing projects. Why, the most intellectual project in my life will be my baby learning a new letter or using the potty. When I have a child, my vacation will no longer be romantic or educational. I will have to travel to warm countries, where tons of the same mothers and fathers warm up their flabby bellies on dull beaches or patiently wait for the clumsy, sweet-voiced animators to work on the children's program. When I have a child, after another cold, we will suddenly not get better, he will cough and cough and we'll have to go to the hospital. I will watch in horror as he is taken away from me on the couch by indifferent white coats, and he whispers: “Please, mom, don’t leave me.” And then for three days and three nights I will watch the uneven trembling of his chest, and when he opens his eyes, I will be deliberately cheerful, and hiding my tears, I will compose fairy tales for him no matter what, the main thing is that they end well... One day, when I will have a child, he will come from school and tell me that the teachers are stupid, the subjects are uninteresting, the world is evil, and that it would be better if I did not give birth to him. I will lock myself in the room and cry into my pillow out of resentment, diligently and loudly, in the hope that he will hear and understand everything. As if a mother's tears can make us understand that the world is beautiful and worth living in... When I have a child, I will feel that my mother, although nominally still her, has actually redirected all the love to him, my child, and now he is more important than me. When I have a child, comfort, confidence, independence, freedom and... emptiness will leave my life. When I have a child, and the line between day and night is erased, we will have one for both of us one time, and it will flow uniquely only for our little duo. When I have a child, and he twists all the caps off my creams, I will scrub him for a long time in the bathroom, and he, hot and excited, will burst into laughter from the bursting of foam bubbles. When I have a child, and in stupid thick pants I will be walking with him through the dreary winter yard, suddenly dad will arrive ahead of time, and we will all go to the hill together. I will be afraid, and they will shout to me: “Come on, Mom, don’t be afraid, we are with you!” When I have a child, one day he is sorting through the cubes, he will drag the letter “M” and say “Mom” and I will cry , and I will feel that this is the best project in my entire life. When I have a child, we will go on vacation to the sea, and together with him we will build a fancy castle out of wet sand, and no one will tell me that I am doing nonsense, but I should would like to work. One day, when my child and I are in the hospital, I will come up with a fairy tale for him about Little Bot, and he, as well as…