I continue to share excerpts from the book about happiness from a scientific point of view, “The How of Happiness: The Scientific Approach to the Life You Want” by Sonja Lyubomirsky, she writes about how to build your stable sense of happiness through purposeful, regular actions. Happiness Strategy #3 - “Don’t stress yourself out or compare yourself to others.” You stress yourself out when you think too much, passively, and fruitlessly about the causes, meanings, and consequences of your feelings and problems, for example: “Why am I so unhappy?” “What will happen to me if I continue to procrastinate at work?” or "I'm so upset that my hair isn't as thick as it used to be!" or “What did he really mean when he made that remark?” etc. Many people think that to solve a problem you need to dive deep into yourself and constantly think about it, but research shows that endless grinding and ruminating, especially in a bad mood, only makes you feel even more sad and provokes negative thinking. Therefore, think less and do more to solve your problem :) Comparing yourself with others. Research shows that happy people are much less likely to compare themselves to others, and comparing themselves to others is akin to toxic rumination and grinding. So, how do you break the bad habit of rumination? Step 1: “Get free of it,” in other words, just stop grinding and comparing yourself to others. Choose one of the strategies below that will work best for you:1. Distract yourself from other activities that completely absorb you and bring you pleasure. They will not only distract you from unnecessary thoughts, but also improve your mood.2. Technique "Stop!" When you find yourself succumbing to fruitless mental grinding, simply tell yourself “Stop!” or not!". And then switch your thoughts to something else.3. Give yourself 30 minutes a day just to think, during which time you need to do only this, without being distracted by anything else. It is important that you are in a good mood. It may turn out that when the time comes, it will become difficult for you to force yourself to start “pouring from empty to empty” and your problem will no longer seem so pressing.4. Talk about your problem with a friend who sympathizes with you and whom you trust. It often turns out that a simple outpouring of feelings will help you see the problem is not as global as it seemed before.5. Think about your problem on paper. This will make the rumination process more constructive and help you release and let go of your negative feelings. Step 2: Take action to solve the problem. You can start even with very small steps. Don't wait for something to happen or for someone to help you, even the smallest actions can boost your mood and self-confidence. Step 3. Avoid triggers that provoke you to start stressing yourself out. Or Try to see the bigger picture as soon as you hear inside yourself: “Teddy has been so inconsiderate and nervous with me lately” or “Once again, my manager paid more attention to Cecilia’s presentation than mine” or other thoughts that provoke you into unnecessary overthinking, ask yourself: “Will this be important in year?" - the answer to this question will allow you to see a more global vision of the problem and relieve unnecessary worries. If you answered “Yes,” then try to understand what this experience can teach you and what lesson you should learn from the situation. If excessive overthinking is your problem, then I hope that these methods will help you get rid of it and become happier! After all, our happiness depends on us by as much as 40%! Ps If you still cannot get rid of obsessive overthinking or you feel that life is trying to teach you something, but it is difficult for you to draw the right conclusions, come to me for a private consultation, method The psychodrama I work in is very