​By going through every dialogue of a client with an important person for him, we often find those ineffective speech strategies that will certainly interfere with the development of quality relationships: She comes out of the bathroom, discovers in the corner of the room something he doesn’t want to see and immediately shouts with despair and resentment in his voice: “Why are your socks not in the basket, but on the floor!!?? I’m so sick of this! Eternal shit!” - “This is the third phrase.” “???????” -You started the conversation with the third phrase. The first, in such a situation, should be: “Please, I would like you to take your socks to the laundry basket” (as a rule, if there is no case). is pathological in nature, this phrase solves 80% of problems on the spot). The second phrase, the next time you encounter something like this: “Sorry, I said that it was important for me that you put your socks in the basket on time. Perhaps you don’t. did you hear? (the probability of an agreement increases to 95%). And only if after this no changes/improvements have occurred, you can exclaim that very third phrase, full of indignation: “Why are your socks again not in the basket, but on the floor?” But there is a high probability that it will not be needed. When you begin to burst with indignation and indignation, dissatisfaction and resentment at someone’s behavior, ask yourself first: what does this person know about your desires and needs? Did you say that? Do you want something, but don’t have something? Does he/she have any assumptions about what you are dissatisfied with? Interrupted contact is a common occurrence in relationships where partners do not have the skill to identify their experiences in open dialogue. But there is an internal rule to “tolerate the inconvenience,” and only after the intensity of emotions inside increases to the limit, a person can throw them out in complaints, but at the same time justify his behavior by being forced to do so. And this certainly does not make the relationship stronger. .It is important to understand that people do some things not because they actively wish us trouble, but because they are busy with themselves and do not plan to think about us, our thin strings and very nervous endings. But they are able to do a lot in your benefit if we (using the gift of direct speech given to us) let them know about it!