Today I want to share with you some observations that I made for myself based on my recent anniversary in the profession. I developed these “notes” in the process of helping many people, so the loud name from the title, believe me, will justify itself in the following lines. When turning to a specialist for help, the client, in most cases, experiences mental anguish and dental anguish pain that can be extremely difficult to control or relieve. Naturally, when turning to a psychologist, a person expects that now, after the first session, it will be possible to remove a good bunch of these same problems and anxieties with just the sound of a specialist’s words. And you know what? This really helps sometimes. The unbearable pain goes away, either because the client’s problem was paid attention to and listened to, or because, in truth, at the very first session some level of tension was relieved and the client received a strategic vision for solving the problem. BUT there are some aspects of behavior in a person who has just applied, which, as the case shows, have a categorically negative impact on the client’s condition and on his expectations from therapy. What are these aspects? The first and most important is piling up. A person who is depressed, under stress, under time pressure for one reason or another, and this is actually clear to a fool, is trying to fix and improve everything. But it is impossible to fix a collapsing system by simply adding another layer of duct tape. It is necessary to correct and improve existing conditions, to clear up existing background problems, before striving to “improve” your life and plunge into “self-development.” What am I talking about? Everything is banal. If your body does not receive proper care, the necessary rest, sleep and relaxation, if your endocrine system is overloaded and is in critical condition, do you think the psyche will respond to attempts to change something there with words or behavioral techniques? If a person has " physiological" complaints about yourself, then my big advice to you is to wait a little while starting to work on your cherished and desired topic and, with the help of a specialist, try to adjust your daily routine. Sleep, nutrition, rest, work - if you cannot treat your life and necessary routine in a healthy way and organize it, do not try to burden yourself with mental excavations, thereby complicating your already difficult life. Do not demand fleeting changes and breakthroughs from yourself, if after a session on the topic of “the meaning of life and goals” you do not want to do anything further. Perhaps it would be worth getting some sleep, establishing a hormonal balance, and then demanding from yourself some more controlled changes “It is useless to improve the situation in the captain’s cabin when there are huge holes in the ship’s hull” © Boris Eiman The second and my favorite is a lie. Surprising, but quite A common occurrence during therapy is banal lies. Clients are afraid or do not want to talk about some experiences or traits, actions or desires, which is why absolutely all the work goes awry. You will say, “but no one will pay money, waste time and lie to their psychologist.” But I’ll just take it and say - they will. And they will do this often. For what reason? Perhaps a therapeutic alliance has not been formed, it is morally difficult for a person to share his true experiences with a psychologist, and it is good if, after the first sessions, the practice of such a trick is completed and the sessions are stopped. But it is not uncommon for a client to continue to lie about his true problems during a long period of work , trying to work out instead of uncontrollable aggression - fear of public places, which in theory could be unraveled with the right accents and questions, but it happens that the client consciously moves away from “that same” topic. As a result, it turns out that the psychologist sees with his own sides are absolutely “synthetically” correct version and tries to diagnose and help their version, while the client experiences.