“Good psychologists come from the most “traumatized” clients,” one wonderful fairy of psychotherapy once told me. And since I was a very “traumatized” client, I believed her. For as long as I can remember, I have always strived to help everyone. Even the name Anna is translated from Greek as “merciful, grace.” Therefore, I firmly decided that I wanted to be a doctor. But in my work I always lacked feedback. As a cytologist, every day I studied millions of cells under a microscope, I saw what dozens of diseases look like at the cellular level, but I did not see these people who suffered from their problems. Why for some people life is easy and smooth, while for others it is a series of endless problems, obstacles and illnesses - I asked myself. The thought that all this was karma/fate/God’s punishment (underline as appropriate) depressed me. And I was looking for answers to these eternal questions. But apparently the Universe decided to help me. And now my child is born, so desired and long-awaited. He became that catalyst, that reflector of my unconscious programs, from which I had been hiding for so long. With every year of motherhood, I sank deeper and deeper into the abyss of pain and anxiety. I tried to run away from myself as long as I had the strength. Trainings on a happy life, seminars on successful success - all this only increased my feelings of guilt, and my inner voice sounded louder: “You are a bad mother.” I was looking for answers to why I felt so bad. Why does a child get sick so often? Why doesn't he listen to me at all? Why is your relationship with your husband on the verge of divorce? Why haven’t I communicated with my mother-in-law for a year and a half? Why do I feel so tired every morning, as if I’m 90 years old and tomorrow is my funeral?? But neither the honors diploma from the medical university, nor the dozens of books I read on psychology gave me the answer. And when the pain became so strong, I decided to look - to look for a real Master of psychotherapy. I found it completely by accident: one of my friends left a link to the site under the comments. I remember the first consultation, a frosty day on January 11: I have a sore throat, temperature 38, practically no voice, but I have a huge fear of communicating on Skype. I had one most exciting request, but we managed to sort out three. And it was as if wings of hope grew in me that I could change my life, that not everything is predetermined and that everything is my choice. My unconscious rejoiced: finally she did it! And immediately dozens of other unfinished programs began to rise. But I knew that there was no turning back, I had burned all my bridges. And she walked forward through the impenetrable jungle of her pain. Consultations and then training in the Satori Healing® psychotherapy method, which really worked. Gradually, I learned to heal myself, and realized that I wanted to help others. Colors began to appear in life, black and gray changed to color. I realized that running is pointless - I need to stop and start hearing myself. Now I know how you can be a calm and understanding mother, but not a firm one; how can you be a loving wife, but at the same time not cling to marriage as the last bastion of hope; how you can be a good daughter-in-law and daughter, but at the same time not frantically defend your personal boundaries; how you can wake up in the morning with the desire to wake up. In this blog, I will not give you advice on how to live correctly so that your husband is obedient, your child is ideal, and you glow with x-rays of happiness every day. But I will share real stories from my life, from the lives of many mothers and women who were able to hear and change themselves and their world. As they say, the road appears under the feet of those who walk..