Empathy and compassion. How to support yourself and other people? Most often, this happens through devaluation, denial of feelings and ignoring. Oh, and they start giving advice right away. “Don’t worry, everything will grind, there will be flour. Get it out of your head, these are all the little things in life, get yourself together, you must be strong, I would be in your place...” And so on. When it’s bad, we want to hear DIFFERENTLY, and if someone next to us is experiencing a loss, we ourselves We get lost and are afraid to say too much, we remain silent. And at this moment it seems to a person that he is alone with his problems, that no one understands him. It’s so important to feel that someone is on the same wavelength with you, and even if they don’t feel like you, they at least understand how hard it is for you now and share your emotional state with you. To convey to the person that you understand, feel, empathize with them, you need to do this at different levels: body, emotions, image, behavior, meaning. For example, a friend called you whose car was stolen. Loss of losses, as they say. Try to give support according to this scheme. “When you tell me about what happened, my heart (body) shrinks from anger (emotion), when I imagine this situation (image), I would destroy them - bastards (behavior), because you can’t do that, it’s bad (meaning, assessment).” And it’s good to give YOURSELF support in the same way: imagine the situation, feel your body (hands are shaking, legs are wobbly, chest pain, heavy head), how I feel now feel (fear, anger, sadness, resentment, frustration, etc.), what did I do or want to do and why? What does this situation mean to me, assessment, meaning? If your feelings are flooded, contact a psychologist who will help you get through this together or a person who can listen to you carefully, without judging, without advice or recommendations. Because, more often than not, you yourself know what to do. When you talk to others, you just want to share your story with someone. If such a person is not nearby, simply write down this situation on paper according to this diagram or speak into a voice recorder. Read it out loud again in a couple of days! (listen again), if it still catches you, write, say more until it becomes easier. And it will become easier.