Spring is approaching, there is already a breath of freshness and good mood in the air. The time of love is approaching, and on the pages of glossy and not so glossy publications the topic of relationships between men and women is increasingly appearing. You can often find the following headlines: “How to find your soul mate?”; “I have no life without you”; “Love - you will love evil and a goat” and other similar established expressions. From a psychological point of view, all these headlines are very sad and, in fact, are not at all about love and other tender feelings, but about jealousy, anger, despair, pain. In reality, our life is much simpler and clearer than is commonly believed. Let's take a different path today and move away from the usual general phrases and veiled concepts. Let's do a short review on the topic of relationships, maturity, readiness for marriage and children. After reading which, you will let go of many illusions that do not allow you to live peacefully, to love, to feel. When we meet our own, congenial and internally dear person, we admire, value, catch every glance, but some time passes - and We are no longer interested, no longer have fun – it’s a burden to even devote time. Have you fallen out of love? No. This is completely different. This person, our partner, upon closer examination turned out to not correspond to our internal ideals and image. And this did not happen because he changed, but we simply looked at him without emotion. What's the catch? We expected from a person what he, in principle, could not give us. It’s like being upset that a fish doesn’t run along a concrete highway - it seems a pity that this is so, but it’s only us who expected such agility from a fish - that is, these are our problems. Let’s, in order to avoid such “disappointments”, classify men and women, and Then we’ll see what kind of relationships can be really cool, “high” and bright. What kind of men are there? For a man, this path is typical: a boy, a young man, a man (and this is not just a beard starting to grow or gray hair starting to appear, these are changes within). Boy. Goes to school or first or second year of university. Does not earn at all or earns little, often cannot provide for himself. Lives with parents or in a dormitory. He doesn’t really know what he wants or what his parents and others want. With girls, relationships are closer to romantic love or teenage sex. A serious relationship is unrealistic for a boy. Young man. Due to the appearance of real work in his life (and not extra jobs), he begins to earn money. Lives separately, rents housing himself. He builds “his own business” (increases his professional status, works hard at work) - in general, achieves some of his own goals (or other people’s goals that he has made his own). His style of relationship with women is closer to free, although he may well start a family. In any case, most often he puts most of his energy into work, while his family (regular girlfriend) is still in the background (although he can promise and say a lot). He likes it when people give it to him and willingly accepts it, but he gives less. Why? See above. If he has children, he is often only the biological father and gives all the care of the children to their mother. The man. On average, it becomes by the age of 35-40 (although this is more a statistic than a main indicator). The man has already achieved his main goals, is fulfilled, and calms down. He begins to see that there is someone else around him besides work and colleagues. Able to appreciate women more and devote his time and money to them. More ready for the role of a father than the Young Man. I am determined to create relationships and participate in them, and not just be present. You should not think that if a person is 18, he is a boy, and if he is 40, he is a man. Age is rather secondary. In our lives, we often encounter infantile 40-year-old men who, when they say “Let’s get married,” disappear into thin air like steam. At the same time, there are 20-year-old men who are building a business or who are specialists in their favorite field, working and earning money. There are plenty of exceptions in our time. Let's now talk about women. What kind of women are Women, like men,go through a certain path, and it is not necessarily chronological. And each period is characterized by certain features, let's look at them. Girl (16-20 years old). She is young, sexy (if she allows herself), but still in many ways a child. She often lives a “rosy” life and desires an ideal relationship. Often during this period there is unhappy love, a broken heart, etc. During this period, relationships can be casual (parties, parties) or romantic (stars, sunsets). Young Girl (20-25 years old). Often, during this period, there is a feeling from myself: “How cool I am, the whole world revolves around me.” She doesn’t want to give it away yet, she says: “My attention needs to be earned.” The feeling of “your whole life ahead of you.” Girls who obey their mother are most often already married, and may even have given birth to a child “because it’s time.” Girls who do not obey their parents are most often surrounded by a bunch of fans and enjoying the moment. There can be a great romance with a Young Girl, but even if she wants something serious, she is often not ready for it internally. In relationships, she often tends to re-educate the man. Woman (25-30 years old). They become one either with age or with the birth and upbringing of a child (although not always). A woman is realized to one degree or another, either professionally or raising a child (perhaps this realization is more logical for a woman). A woman begins to feel that youth and brilliant beauty are not eternal. Now she accepts others more, including men, as they are. Internally, she is more ready to build serious relationships and to maintain them, since she has tasted freedom, consciously chose a partner and values ​​him (she is not jealous, but appreciates and values ​​him). During this period, she is ready to be a mother. In a relationship, as they say, by mutual consent, one can “go crazy” about romance, marriage and family. She begins to value herself more - but not as a Young Girl, but as a Woman who is worthy of respect, sincere feelings and love. Like the typology of men, this is all approximate, and exceptions can often be found. In the end, it all comes down to the ability to take and bear some responsibility for yourself, your life, your partner and future or existing children. When choosing a partner for a relationship, you need to be soberly aware of “why are they?” (relationships) and what you want to get from them. What is the result? The most wonderful romances for a man occur with Women or Young Girls at the stage of transition to Woman. There are a lot of feelings, little fuss and a lot of “tasty”. According to women, the most wonderful romances happen to Men or Young People during the transition to a Man. It is at this moment that women feel that they are “behind their husband” and their man always has time for his family. Problems begin when a Woman meets a bright, free Young Man and expects him to sit at her feet and look only at her. Or a Girl meets a Man and expects him to run around shopping and clubs with her. Or a Woman meets a Boy and expects that with her help he will quickly become a Man. As a result, a lot of bummers, disappointments and tears. Why all this? It's simple! The most important thing in a relationship is to understand why you need it. After all, “princes” do not exist in the real world (only in fairy tales or during virtual dating). If you want walks under the moon and platonic hugs during six months of dating, this is for Boys and Girls. If you want drive, fun, fun, unbridled sex on the ceiling all night and parties, then Men and Women are not very suitable for this - it is more likely for Young People and Young Girls. But you shouldn’t really expect reliability and constancy here. If you want truly serious, deep acceptance, a delicious, enveloping relationship, where no one taunts anyone with the meaningless phrase “do you love me?” or makes you nervous with the words “I don’t deserve you.” These relationships are only possible with a Man and a Woman. And sometimes it’s enough just to moderate your expectations and be more attentive to your partner and yourself, you can.