From the author: Sometimes an acquaintance with his ridiculous comment will ruin your mood for the whole day. Then you come home, and there the dissatisfied husband reproaches the under-salted soup and the poorly ironed shirt. Constant criticism day after day makes a person doubt and lose confidence in himself and his abilities. How to protect yourself from criticism? A girl who graduated from college a couple of years ago is beginning her first independent steps in the profession. She believes in herself and in her strength. She has experience working in different companies, however, now she has decided to start her own business. Moving towards her goal, she sometimes makes mistakes, sometimes misses, and everything would be fine if the girl’s mother did not view each of these mistakes as a signal that nothing will work out. The mother, with her excessive care for her adult daughter, gradually, day after day, undermines her confidence in yourself and your strengths. In the conversation, she draws her daughter’s attention to the fact that other specialists (and here is a list of names and surnames) always started under someone else’s leadership. Turning to her daughter, she encourages her to follow their example. If we delve into the history of this family, we will see that my mother also tried to create her own business in her youth, but this was not successful. Now she is trying in every way to protect her daughter from failure and perhaps does not even realize it. This is how positive messages can undermine self-confidence day after day. Confidence is influenced by both close people and strangers. And often it is those close to them who have the strongest influence, since their opinions are listened to, they are trusted, and what they hear from them is not always passed through the censorship filter. And there are a lot of such examples when loved ones say: “You’re my ugly one,” “What are we like?” crooked legs”, “And why do we have such thin hair”, “You are our silly girl”, etc. How can you protect your confidence from being shaken and destroyed when even loved ones can unintentionally have a negative impact on it? When a person is faced with criticism or an attempt to influence his confidence, he needs to ask himself 4 questions: 1) Am I interested in criticism on this topic? It happens that the topic has already lost its relevance and there is no desire to discuss it again. 2) Is this person’s opinion on this issue important to me? If the criticism comes from an expert in the field, then it may be worth listening to him. If criticism comes from a loved one, and he is completely “off topic,” then of course you need to listen, but pass it through internal censorship. 3) The purpose of criticism is to help me do something better? If a person expresses constructive criticism and this is really possible change, that's great. And if criticism falls into the category of “impossible,” then you shouldn’t waste time on it.4) Do I want to hear it now? Sometimes a person organized and held an event, but it did not live up to his expectations, it’s great if there is feedback, but then when the person will be ready for it. If the answers to all questions are “yes,” then you should listen to criticism and thank your interlocutor for the feedback. If “no,” then you need to prepare to protect your confidence. If it is not possible to escape criticism, then you can use the following methods of defense :1) Playing one record, that is, repeating one phrase. Example: - Why did you do such highlighting? - I’m happy with my hairstyle. - But now it’s so unfashionable! - And I like my hairstyle. - Your hairstyle looks terrible! - It suits me my hairstyle. - Yes, you two got on with the same thing! - I like it, what else can I say. Such repetition can first anger the interlocutor, and then leave him without energy. He will get tired of attacking when he realizes that he is unable to irritate his interlocutor.2) Humor is an excellent means of defense! A healthy sense of humor, used for its intended purpose, is the key to success on the path to protecting your confidence. For example, the interlocutor makes unflattering comments about a girl’s appearance, saying that she looks bad today. Here you can seize the initiative and say something like this: “What’s bad there, I would say that!»