From the author: Do you have to yell at your child? Read this light, positive article and I’m sure the situation will change! Adults often yell at children. It is a fact. The adult himself justifies every cry as “an action for the good.” When asking parents at a reception about the reasons for the cry, psychologists can hear familiar phrases: “How else will I convey it to him....!!!!!”, “And in another way She doesn’t understand! You just have to yell!” Or “because otherwise it’s useless! The wall, not the child!” No matter how adults make excuses and try to convince loved ones of their justifications, there is always a reason. One of them is the projection of our own emotions (experiences and difficulties) onto the child. As one wonderful child said, adults are people too. And here, dear people, are some tips on HOW you can yell at a child: 1) before talking to your child about studying, cleaning, culinary hazards, exhale. Yes Yes! Just breathe out. Don’t escalate your internal state! 2) before you exhale, tune yourself to the idea that all your problems should have their place (a shelf, or better yet, a trash can). When you leave your workplace, your problems remain there. When you experience difficulties in communicating with relatives or loved ones, leave these difficulties in conversations with these relatives (or also throw them in the trash). To communicate with a child, you need to free yourself from depressing thoughts (they will also interfere with communication with your spouse). 3) Rate your own psycho-emotional state on a ten-point scale, where 10 is excellent, magnificent, enchanting, and 1 is the most terrible of all possible. 4) If, after assessing your own condition, you score 6 points or less, postpone the conversation with your child. 5) and in general - cross out from your parental functions such as “make claims” - there is nothing useful in this function. There is a lot of destructive, depressing stuff, but no useful stuff. 6) Evaluate how important the conflict is now in terms of this or that action (event)? Most likely, you will not want conflict 7) think about how to ask your son or daughter to perform this or that action? 8) generally assess the degree of importance of this or that action for the child (for you, as a parent, of course, everything is important). Is it really so important for a child here and now (“I said immediately!!!” - as is usually the case) to wash the floor, put things away from the chair in the closet, wash the cup?! 9) organize the distribution of household duties around the house fairly equally among all members families. A situation where a child does the cleaning, dad cooks and goes to work, and mom watches TV series during the day while lying on the couch is obviously unacceptable. 10) well, if you still have the strength and desire to scream, scream! Yell at a stuffed animal or balloon. Go to the bathroom, turn on the tap and scream at the water. Just be aware that in these screams, it’s more likely to blame “I want it this way” than “how can it be different with him?”. Good luck! As always, sincerely yours - psychologist A.A. Belomyttseva.