I am writing these lines a year after my article was published on the website “It’s Interesting to Live!” How many doubts did you have whether to give the text to the editor or not? Who is interested in this? Now, when I look at the hundreds of letters that came after the publication of the article, I understand that these are hundreds of destinies who received hope that life exists after the birth of a sick child. I cannot help those sick children, but I I realize what I did for their parents. When a person is in pain, he is in a hopeless situation, that article that I was afraid to publish can also come to the rescue. And the one you haven't written yet. And if I hadn’t given it away, I wouldn’t have helped those who were waiting for it. I really want to say this to those who still doubt whether to write about their story or not. If the heart asks, then your article is awaited. When there is an intention in your soul to tell about something, you must believe it. The mind can be filled with doubts - so be it. That's why he's smart. But you cannot deceive the heart and feelings. We are all part of the universe, we move this World. The fact that we are not silent and share our secrets. We are like lights that light up from each other, making life lighter and brighter. My daughter turned 22 years old, and now I can talk about it. It has matured. Once upon a time this was a question: “Why am I doing this, Lord? And now I understand: not for what, but for what!” We expect a miracle from doctors, but we forget that they are just people, not Gods! If doctors make a terrible diagnosis, then this is not a death sentence. There was a feeling that I was in hell. When Dina was born, the doctors shrugged their shoulders, threw up their hands and said: “This is your fate.” Most likely the child will not be able to walk, talk, communicate and study. It felt like I was in hell. At such moments you realize that exactly a minute ago you were an absolutely happy person, but you didn’t realize it. The first year was the hardest. I didn't know what to do. The doctors did not come to us, so I began to “cast magic” on Dina myself. I don’t know how to correctly call what I did, but the massage, combined with a powerful mother’s faith and desire to help, began to take effect. Meanwhile, my first husband was drinking heavily. When Dina was one and a half years old, I made up my mind and left. I wasn’t afraid to be alone with a disabled child. Thanks to my mom for her support and love. You just have to take a bold step. You just have to stop whining and take a bold step, and the Universe itself begins to help you! Then there was a journey that was more than 20 years long. There were many events and experiences. Useless torment of oneself because fate decreed this way. Two surgeries for my daughter in neurosurgery. Complete rejection of her by those around her. Parents in the yard forbade their children to walk with her: “Don’t play with her, she’s crazy!” Meeting her new father, with whom we had three more sons. And the battle for a place in a special school. The battle for a place in the sun. Well, they didn’t want to take her to a special school. Every year, for four years, we passed a commission at the children's psychological center to obtain permission to study at school. Dina answered all the questions, laid out all the pictures correctly, but she was still refused. They said: “Come back in a year,” finding all sorts of reasons. Of course, I resisted, but I had to agree, they are specialists, they know better. Maybe she would never have been taken if my husband had not intervened, who was present at the last commission and found the right words to persuade. Ours took it! We received a referral for Dina's experimental training for a period of six months. Dina really liked it at school - because there she finally had communication. But learning mathematics was difficult. When the experimental period ended, the question of expulsion arose. The head teacher handed me the documents and advised me to transfer Dina to home schooling. I was painfully choosing words, looking for new arguments, and suddenly my gaze came across a large banner with the school’s mission displayed on it: “The main thing is not grades, but social adaptation!” I realized - here it is, my trump card! I grabbed the head teacher of the bulldoggrip. And she gave in. Then Dina was expelled several more times, but the “mission of the school” saved us again and again. Dina studied for 10 years, graduated from school, and received a certificate. At graduation, many teachers said that we had done the impossible. How I found my way When Dina was little, and I was still a very young mother, I was ashamed that my child was not like everyone else. Every visit to a clinic, a store, or just going out into a crowded place was torture. Mothers who have experienced such feelings will understand me. This is very painful. Understanding your feelings is not easy, managing them is even more difficult. When our children are healthy, we don’t even think that this could happen. Nobody taught us to work with our emotions. We were only told that being angry is bad. Especially women. I tried to be a good mother, I did not allow myself to be angry with my daughter. I suppressed any irritation in myself and was sure that I was doing the right thing. And when my patience finally “burst,” I felt endlessly guilty. I wanted to change this so much that it determined my whole life. Now I understand: difficult life situations are given to us so that we can find ourselves. I understand why I chose the profession of a coach-psychologist-trainer. Why did I study so much and why am I now an expert in the field of developing emotional intelligence, and not something else. And it was she, my Dina, who pushed me along this path. My guiding star. I am very grateful to her for this. She is my guiding star. I look at her today and see that, despite her diagnosis, she accepts everything that happens in life without judgment - whether it is good or bad. She shows great persistence. She does not give up on her desires when she wants to learn something. Skates, skis, bicycles, skateboards - she mastered everything. She regularly takes me to the theater. She sees only opportunities around her and does not miss an opportunity to make her life more interesting. All these years she taught me to trust and love this world. And today, too, against the backdrop of general whining, she notices the bright sun, the sky, love, happiness. Today I have four children, but it is Dina who is earlier and more often interested in how my day went. I sometimes wonder what a normal person is like ? And who said that he is normal? Do we really all need to have a diagnosis in order to stop whining and start living happily? Believe and not give up! No one knows what awaits us ahead, so the main thing is to believe and not give up! Remember the parable of the deaf frog? They told her that she wouldn’t succeed, but she continued on her way because she didn’t hear that she couldn’t. I am the same “deaf frog”. They told me “it’s useless!”, but I went and did it. Dear parents, maybe someone has exactly this situation right now, so I’m turning to you: 1. Don't trust anyone but yourself!2. If they say your child is unteachable, teach! Take it to specialists. Invite me to your home. Let him study as best he can. This will definitely bring results.3. If doors are closed in front of your nose, climb through the windows!4. If doctors say “it’s impossible” or “it can’t”, try, experiment, search. Doctors are people too, they can make mistakes.5. If you are embarrassed when you and your child are looked at like museum exhibits, because your child is not like everyone else, look at them, make a grimace and smile. People don’t wish you harm, they just don’t know how to behave in such situations. The main secret is to let go of fear, but how? And the most important secret is the technique of working with fear, which I invented for myself then. If you want something If you are very afraid, imagine that this has already happened. Feel it directly with your body and consciousness. Now answer the question: if this happens, what will I do next? The worst fear - the fear of the unknown - recedes. When you imagine this, you begin to accept and admit that this could happen, and the unknown stops squeezing your throat, preventing you from breathing. And one more important point: the probability that this will not happen is 99%. Do you know why? Because you let go of fear from your.