Sometimes you look at a person and think: “How brave and confident he is! How he solves problems, how he reacts to challenges! I want the same!” Then you try the same, but it doesn’t work. It turns out more accurately, but not as well as the other one. Another is self-confident and calm, but for you the solution to any problem is accompanied by anxiety, fear, tension, excitement, restless thoughts: “What if it doesn’t work out? What if I can't handle it? Damn, I don't know what to do next! You need to pull yourself together, you can’t worry like that!” Following this, an internal critical voice appears. A person begins to scold himself, his uncertainty, anxiety, tension. He thinks: “If I do something and still worry, then I’m not good enough. I don't measure up. I am worse than the other.” In turn, this inner critic increases the tension. It turns out like this: - I start doing something; - The activity is accompanied by anxiety, etc.; - The critic turns on: “You have no right to tension and anxiety! Get yourself together, you rag!”—Initial anxiety + Critic = Even more anxiety and self-flagellation. As in that joke: Semyon thought that his self-esteem had fallen to the very bottom. And that she has nowhere to fall further. But then, suddenly, there was a knock from below. What is the difficulty here? The fact is that when we look at another person, we see only one part of the process - the external one. But we don't see the inside. We don’t see what happens to a person inside when he does any work. This creates an illusory belief that it comes easily to him. What he just takes and does: without doubts, worries, worries, fears, worries. That he is so talented, special, brave, confident. Which is 100% in control of itself. Often this is an illusion. Those. either there is still tension, but we don’t see it, or it’s really easy for a person, but not because he is so unique, but because, for example, he has a lot of experience. That’s why it becomes so easy for us when a person reveals his inner process to others and the illusion is destroyed. Remember your feelings when: - someone shares that they also can’t cope with something; - someone also experiences anxiety in similar situations; - someone shares how scary it was to change jobs ;— a colleague admits that he also can’t stand the manager and it’s not easy for him to withstand the stress at work;— when on the playground you hear a mother sharing her fatigue and desire to send her child to grandma for a month. At such moments we often exhale: “Phew! !! So I'm fine! So I can too.” It seems that this post could be a good reason to support each other in the comments and share your internal process. For example, I am always nervous before meeting a new client and experience enormous stress when I have to go to various government agencies. Share if you are ready and willing.