“How can I control myself? I don’t want to hurt others, but I don’t want to keep it to myself either.” Irritation is like fire. It burns from the inside, suffocates and burns those around you. If you think that you are successfully hiding your anger, then you are mistaken. Everything is visible, everything is felt. So we need to express it all in an environmentally friendly way. Partially extinguish it, partially direct it to a good cause. Take control. Anger is fire, and firewood is our desires. Failure to fulfill desires is like a spark. Something went wrong, and we got angry. At the moment it seems that the irritation really urgently needs to be thrown out! To fix the situation. To restore justice. Avoid disaster. To calm down. But this is fraught. If you go too far, you will ruin the relationship. And one more nuance: desires, unlike firewood, do not burn out. A new spark means a new fire, a new risk of going too far. Plus, there appears a habit of flaring up at the slightest provocation, using force or scandal to resolve issues... This will not add to the respect of others. It is useless to hide, it is harmful to let it out... What then to do? Give up desires? No, please, under no circumstances! This is the path to depression, it is much more difficult to get out of here than from an outburst of anger! When you lose your temper, the first thing you do is cover the fire, deprive it of oxygen: deprive it of fuel with accusations. Accusations are a search for someone to pour my burning coals into by the scruff of the neck. Instead of looking for the guilty , turn your attention to your condition. State the fact: “I’m angry.” Watch the wording, it will help you take responsibility for your feelings:❌- He made me angry with his prank!✅- I’m angry. The second step is a statement of desire ❌ He shouldn’t do that. ✅ “I’m angry because I want him not to do that.” Many people find it difficult to say “I want.” “What is this “I want”, who cares about your whims?” And so rationalization begins: “It’s not about what I want! This can’t be done! He shouldn’t! This is bad!”, etc. But the debt of another person does not concern your feelings! And thinking about it will not help you understand and calm yourself. Your feelings are affected by your desires. So it’s worth plucking up courage and admitting “I want.” And now the next step is acceptance: ❌ Until he stops doing this, I will put pressure on him! ✅ “I don’t want him to do this, but he does and, maybe there's nothing I can do about it" Yes, we are not omnipotent. Other people have free will, freedom of choice. Do we always use ours correctly? If only everyone were robots, doing everything right... But no, other people do stupid things that concern me, and I can’t do anything about it. In fact, most often you can do something. But for the correct approach to the situation, in the beginning you will have to accept, imagine that nothing may work out. Acceptance is the opposite of resistance. You will be surprised, but your irritation will subside. I also want to write to you. I hope this inspires you. When you respect other people's freedom of choice, it gives strength. 💪🏻This lifts you above the situation, you see the entrances and exits. 💪🏻This makes you invulnerable; you do not take people’s weaknesses personally. 💪🏻This makes you flexible, you can adapt without giving up your desires. You take your burning desire and, like a torch, illuminate your path through life, towards your destiny. PS Anticipating questions... Acceptance does not mean that we indulge or condone something bad, saying “it’s his choice...” No. There are things that we can and even should stop! Acceptance is when we stop, swear, punish, break up not because we are angry, but because it will be good and useful for everyone.