In recent decades, psychologists have made a number of remarkable discoveries. One of them is about the importance of communication style with a child for the development of his personality. It has now become an indisputable truth that communication is as necessary for a child as food. A baby who receives adequate nutrition and good medical care, but is deprived of constant contact with an adult, develops poorly not only mentally, but also physically: he does not grow, loses weight, and loses interest in life. Analysis of numerous cases of death of infants in orphanages, carried out in America and Europe after the First World War - cases inexplicable from a medical point of view alone - led scientists to the conclusion: the reason is the unsatisfied need of children for psychological contact, that is, for care, attention, care from a close adult. This conclusion made a huge impression on specialists all over the world: doctors, teachers, psychologists. Communication problems have begun to attract the attention of scientists even more. If we continue the comparison with food, we can say that communication can be not only healthy, but also harmful. Bad food poisons the body; improper communication “poisons” the child’s psyche, jeopardizes his psychological health, emotional well-being, and subsequently, of course, his fate. “Problem”, “difficult”, “disobedient” and “impossible” children, just like children “ with complexes,” “downtrodden” or “unhappy” are always the result of improperly established relationships in the family. The world practice of psychological assistance to children and their parents has shown that even very difficult problems of upbringing are completely solvable if it is possible to restore a favorable style of communication in the family. Questions, concerning the specifics of the educational influence of the father and mother, have long attracted the attention of domestic and foreign specialists. A family is most often a world of complex relationships, traditions and rules hidden from external observation, which to one degree or another affect the personality characteristics of its members, and primarily children. However, there are a number of objective social factors that, one way or another, affect all families without exception. Among these, we can note the loss of family or friendly ties, a woman’s increasing involvement in work and her double burden - at work and in the family, lack of time for upbringing and intra-family communication, housing and financial difficulties. However, despite the importance of the listed factors, they do not play a decisive role in the emergence of difficulties in the development of the child’s personality, alienation of parents and children. The greatest danger is posed by those mistakes that are made by parents, voluntarily or unwittingly, in building relationships with children, forgetting that these relationships always have a developmental nature. When analyzing parental attitudes towards children, many psychologists identified three groups of reasons for errors in the interaction of parents with children: incorrect parents’ ideas about the peculiarities of the manifestation of parental feelings; insufficient psychological knowledge of parents about the age-related development of the child and methods of educational influence that are adequate to him; underestimation of the role of the personal example of parents and the unity of requirements for the child. In each family, a certain, not always conscious, system of education is objectively formed . Here we mean an understanding of the goals of education, the formulation of its tasks, and a more or less targeted application of methods and techniques of education, taking into account what can and cannot be allowed in relation to the child. There are a huge number of classifications of types of family relationships. One of the most common is the following: guardianship, dictate, “non-interference” and cooperation. The most common situation in families in need of psychological support is the inability, and sometimes unwillingness, of parents to build their relationships with children on the basis of reasonable love. Taking into account theirown experience of child-parent relations and sometimes considering their child as personal and private property, parents can either overprotect him, trying to immediately satisfy any need, or constantly punish him, testing him with the most cruel means of influence, or in every possible way evade education, providing the child has complete freedom. At the same time, they can sincerely believe that they are doing this solely for his own good, helping him in his development in life. Realization of mistakes can come very late, when the family, in order to cope with difficulties, will need additional resources in the form of psychological help. The most common type of family upbringing is overprotection (“indulging overprotection”, or upbringing as a family idol). Overprotection is expressed in the desire of parents to surround the child with increased attention, always protect him, monitor his every step, protect him from perceived dangers, worry about him for any reason and for no reason, keep children close to him, “tie” him to his mood and feelings, oblige him to act in a certain way. Protecting from any difficulties, indulging whims and caprices, parents, in fact, do not educate, but fill their lives with the events of the lives of their children. All this, as a rule, is accompanied by an exaggeration of the abilities and capabilities of children, and they grow up in an atmosphere of unbridled admiration, acceptance and encouragement. As a result of long-term overprotection, the child loses the ability to mobilize his resources in difficult situations and expects help from others, and above all from his parents. The child develops so-called learned helplessness - a conditioned reflex reaction to perceive any obstacles as insurmountable. Another style of interaction with the child – strict power over children to the point of cruelty – will also lead to a negative result in the development of the child’s personality. Diktat in the family is manifested in the systematic behavior of some family members (mainly adults) and the initiative and self-esteem of other family members. Parents, of course, can and should make demands on their child, based on the goals of education, moral standards, specific situations in which it is necessary to make justified decisions. However, those who prefer order and violence to all types of interaction face resistance from the child, who responds to pressure, coercion, and threats with his own countermeasures: whims, deception, aggressiveness, and tearfulness. But even if resistance turns out to be broken, many valuable personality traits are broken along with it: independence, self-esteem, initiative, faith in oneself and in one’s capabilities. The reckless authoritarianism of parents, ignoring the interests and opinions of the child, the systematic deprivation of his choice when resolving issues related to him - all this is a guarantee of serious failures in the formation of his personality. Cooperation as a type of relationship in the family presupposes the mediation of interpersonal relationships in the family by common goals and objectives of joint activities , the ability to share responsibility for what is happening within these relationships, the ability to trust all family members. It is in this situation that there is an opportunity to form adequate self-esteem and the child’s faith in his own resources and abilities. A family where the leading type of relationship is cooperation acquires a special quality - the ability to form a sense of “we”. Factors associated with the childhood of the parents themselves play an important role in all types of parent-child interaction. Often, some of them are based on the following misconception: in the minds of parents, a child turns into a measure of prestige and the opportunity to realize their own childhood hopes. Parental partnerships are also an important factor. They, dissatisfied or disappointed with their relationships, may seek some kind of compensation for what marriage does not give them, in an emphatically.