What is a crisis? A crisis is a period of so-called turning point, when problems arise that cannot be dealt with using previous methods. After a crisis there is always a period of lysis - this is a period of stability. As you know, the wisdom of many generations is enshrined in culture, language and traditions. In Japanese, the word crisis consists of two characters. The first means “problem, loss of something important”, and the second means “new opportunities”. It’s the same in life – a crisis period begins when new conditions appear in a person’s life. These conditions are difficult because they are not familiar to us, they are a completely new experience, one that we have never encountered before. But this does not mean that no one has ever encountered something like this in their life. A case from practice. A young married couple turned to psychological counseling for help. The woman explained that her husband had completely lost interest in her, and he also had complaints against her. Just a year later, family life became boring and meaningless. They used to walk a lot together, preferring to go to the cinema, theater, and discos. But the previous common interests have ceased to be relevant (tired), and they have not yet found new ones that are exciting for both. As a result, they practically stopped spending time together. This depressed both of them, but they were able to make up their minds and honestly admit to themselves that changes had occurred in their attitude towards each other. A person’s entire life is associated with constant passage through periods of crisis and calm. Humanity usually experiences all crises cyclically; the crisis is followed by a calm period - lysis, when new knowledge and skills are enough to cope with difficulties. Then, new problems appear, and everything repeats itself again. People are born, grow up, grow old and die with the same problems for many thousands of years. Only those who can adapt to the changed new conditions will be able to get out of the crisis. Let us remember that humanity as a species survived only because it was able to adapt to changing climatic conditions. In the northern countries, our ancestors did not walk naked, as people from the southern countries did, but warmed themselves by the fire, wrapped in warm skins. The ability to change one’s behavior in accordance with the conditions that life presents to us at the moment is an adequate way to solve a problem, and therefore overcome a crisis. For example, let us recall the history of growing up and human development. Each stage in our life is associated with the passage of a critical period. First, when a person is born, he experiences his first crisis. It consists in the fact that a child, accustomed to being in the warmth and constant environment of the mother’s womb, is transferred to a cold external environment. In the womb, nutrition occurs through the umbilical cord, and the temperature is sufficient and stable. At the moment of birth, the child finds himself in completely different conditions: bright light after intrauterine darkness, hard diapers and the hands of doctors after a soft placenta, forced feeding through the mouth after feeding through the umbilical cord. Evidence that the child is experiencing a crisis at this moment is also provided by objective signs that can be observed: weight loss of the newborn, physiological jaundice, etc. But within a few days the child begins to gain weight again, and the jaundice goes away on its own. Nature has endowed the baby with innate abilities to adapt to new difficult conditions. And during the first year he grows and develops. Then a crisis occurs at the end of the first year of life, therefore, when the child’s bone apparatus (skeleton) gets stronger, he learns to walk, and when his brain zones mature, he begins to speak his first words. Previous crawling skills are no longer needed, and in order to reach the desired object, the child has to learn to keep his body level. Further, the child gradually learns to act better with objects (toys, household appliances) and he no longer needs an adult as an intermediary. This is also a crisis period, because parents are used to giving their children somethings, guide his actions, and now he knows how to do it himself. This is a crisis at the age of three, it is called the “I myself” period. As we see, the psychological meaning of each crisis is for a person to learn to change his behavior to one that is adequate and corresponds to the new changed conditions. So that he adapts to live in a new way, adequately assessing his new role, performing new responsibilities correctly, developing new qualities so that this will help him in later life. The only tragedy is that we - people - unlike animals, have learned in the process of evolution feel. We remember something good that happened in our previous life, and it haunts us. Clients often ask what to do if memories haunt you, and surrounding things constantly remind you of the past. A 30-year-old man came to a consultation with a psychologist with a request: a new girl categorically demands to forget the old relationship and stop communicating with his ex-wife. How not to spoil the relationship with the new one, but also remain friends with the old one? We cannot forget everything that happened to us before - this is impossible to do. We can remember all the good things because we have the right to do so. To act adequately means, without forgetting the past (all the good and the bad), to live on, draw conclusions from previously made mistakes and try to avoid them. Also, psychological defense mechanisms help us cope with a crisis. There are many of them (rationalization, projection, repression, replacement, compensation, moralization, etc.), but humanity has only two biological ones that help cope with danger. They have always been used, since ancient times and continue to be used to this day - escape and attack. The source of danger can be everything that surrounds us, like an object or thing, or a bad habit, or another person. Avoidance of problems can be called escape, when a person prefers not to get involved with the source of danger, diligently forgets about it, crosses it out of his life, changes topics of conversation, and, of course, in the literal sense, he simply runs away from it. For example, a person loves his job, but does not like his colleague, with whom he is forced to sit next to each other in the same office. Avoidance consists in the fact that he constantly comes up with reasons to see him as little as possible, for example, leaving the office, staying late in the smoking room, or even getting sick more often. An attack is the opposite model of behavior, a person takes the position of an aggressor, the source of problems. Sometimes this The behavior is triggered when a wild dog is chasing a person, and at some point he turns around sharply and, throwing his hands up, begins to growl menacingly at it. Any provocateur of conflict can be called an attacker. Usually such a person diligently raises his voice, shouts almost to the point of screeching, uses accusatory tones in an argument, wags his finger or his influential patrons. Ultimately, both of these are our defense against the frightening factor. But this protective mechanism is not always adequate to the situation, and therefore does not help solve the main problem - it does not eliminate the cause of the crisis, but only relieves the symptoms. You can treat a runny nose for a long time and unsuccessfully with various ointments, drops, mixtures, but the disease will not go away until you will not eliminate the cause - the viruses and bacteria that cause it. As practice shows, the most difficult thing for a person who finds himself in a difficult situation is simply to turn to other people for help or trust a specialist. People come to a psychologist after the problem has fully manifested itself. Every difficulty we encounter in our lives carries a certain meaning, which we cannot always accurately, quickly and correctly understand. In order to overcome it, it is important to understand the essence of what is happening. It is easier for a person to accept something when he understands it, when the event is embedded in his system of values, ideas, expectations. Each problem is individual, but in general, we can say that they come and go in the same way for all people. First, for every person,.