And again about relationships. “Something is happening between us. Some kind of alienation... I don’t know what to do next..” These are the words that begin the stories of my clients. This prompted me to reflect on this topic in this article. For me, this state is the beginning of the end of chemical love. When the body is full of the drug and no longer reacts with the same force as before. This is a chemical aspect. At the psychological level, a state of alienation is often preceded by a certain calm. Confidence in each other... And then comes the so-called confusion... The question is: What's next? And what to do about it. Because this confusion can be unpleasant, the person uses every means at his disposal to avoid looking closely at the area of ​​confusion. And we begin to behave in direct contrast to Socrates, for example, who freely accepted his intellectual and existential confusion and devoted his life to clarifying it, creating the necessary methods for this. Not recognizing one's Confusion is one of the characteristics of neurosis. When we are confused and unaware of it, we have no freedom of choice, and we treat our experience as if a certain way of acting is the only and absolutely necessary one. Psychiatry has devoted a lot of attention to the special case of confusion - ambivalence, when a person believes that he must either love or hate, that he is either good or bad, etc. But it is enough to replace “either-or” with “both-and” - the situation begins to become clearer, since everything depends on the situation. At one moment we can love and feel good, and at another moment we can hate and feel bad. And this changes every moment of time. We ourselves and our relationships cannot be frozen in time, just as our EMOTIONS cannot be frozen! Any emotional outburst is preceded by a decline in emotions, and vice versa. The deeper the sadness, the brighter the joy. And all this is confirmed by biochemistry. Science you can't argue with. Sadness promotes the production of melatonin. And this wonderful hormone, melatonin, produces serotonin. Hormone of joy! By suppressing sadness and sadness, we simultaneously suppress joy. This is very closely connected with our qualities. Without allowing ourselves to be bad, we cannot be truly good. I take it as an axiom in a relationship only passion and fixation on each other, which of course is justified in the first few months, we stop developing in the relationship and begin to think that everything has passed or is ending. Or fears arise that he somehow doesn’t love me as much as before. He doesn't say what he said before. Here I want to support all men. I know very well that not saying it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. It could simply mean: “I already talked about this!” Didn’t you understand this?” We are such stupid women! We need to always talk! This is me supporting lovely women. However, I would like to contact them too. To their responsibility. Admit it when it seems to you that you are no longer so passionately loved and desired, and you have become more calm about this relationship and this person. This doesn’t mean at all that it’s time to leave. Just a new stage in the relationship. Now completely dependent on you, on your awareness and acceptance of responsibility. The biochemical Storm has subsided, it’s good if you have worked through the fear of rejection, or at least we are aware of it, then you will not rush to look for shortcomings and be disappointed in order to reject before you are rejected. Then you can enjoy yourself in calm feelings, and maybe even sort things out. It's so easy to ask: How do you feel about me? I really love doing this) Although I know very well and have been convinced from my clients, from stories from my life, that people often feel something approximately the same. If passion is both, if alienation or fear is also both. True, sometimes they don’t!