Why are narcissism and high self-esteem not the same thing? Let's look at the scientific research. "There's a key difference you should know between high self-esteem and narcissism," says Jessica Tracy, Ph.D., author of Take Pride: Why the Worst of Sins Holds the Secret to Our Success. , why the deadliest sin holds the secret to human success”). There is a fine line between the opinions “I’m great!” and “Isn’t it true, I’m cool!”, and many people balance between these concepts without noticing the fundamental difference. If you're wondering whether people have healthy self-esteem or are simply narcissistic, ask them to describe how they feel during what they consider the "greatest moments" in their lives. People with healthy self-esteem tend to include a description of pride when they feel proud. the efforts they had to make to achieve their great goal. Narcissists simply identify themselves with victories. Often these are other people's victories, to which they put a minimum of effort, but blindly believe that without them nothing would have happened. Jessica Tracy, a professor of psychology at the University of British Columbia who has spent much of her career researching pride, has found this connection in several studies. “Feelings of authentic pride are associated with high self-esteem, while pride based on narcissism is associated with traits like arrogance and selfishness,” says Tracy. Imagine the situation. You are working in a team on a project. By being fully invested in your work, you see how your actions lead to better results. Stay, be creative, treat the project as if it were your own brainchild. One of your colleagues became involved in the project simply because he was assigned, but did not believe in the success of the project. He actively participates in meetings and discussions, he is visible. But when it comes to real action, the colleague is the most ineffective link, and his part of the work has to be divided among other participants in order to meet the deadline. In the end, the project was completed perfectly! At the presentation, the manager praises the entire team, which worked as a single mechanism. Your colleague brags to others about his excellent result, because in fact he also received a high rating. Do you feel proud of the result and of your contribution to the project? Is this real pride? What does your colleague feel? Expectations and Effort A positive kind of pride can be incredibly motivating. Let's look at another example. A student who puts effort into his studies and is used to getting a high score suddenly receives a failing grade on a very difficult test. How will he feel? Most likely, infringement of self-esteem, a desire to improve your results and regain the previous sense of pride in a job well done. This feeling motivates him to intensively prepare, as the material becomes more and more difficult, but he wants the same result. This desire is constructive and helps to develop, as opposed to accidentally getting a good grade for which no due effort was made. “We found no downside to genuine pride,” says Tracy. “These people are mostly successful, creative, have great relationships, and other people are attracted to them." People who demonstrate narcissism, according to Tracy, do not have strong social relationships, and other people usually do not respect them and avoid communicating with them. Observing the reactions of different people to their own successes, paying attention to the fact that exactly what they mean by this concept and what characteristics they describe their contribution to success, you will be able to identify and filter truly successful, creative professionals from narcissists basking in the rays of other people's fame. This skill will help you avoid mistakes when choosing a business partner or member of your team, which will ultimately increase the effectiveness of your entire business..