Right now I will tell you why, despite all their efforts, many people cannot get rid of OCD, obsessive-compulsive disorder, with its obsessive thoughts and all kinds of ritual actions on their own. First of all, to understand this, let's say it in a nutshell again: what is this disorder? The essence of OCD: At some point in life, the person himself begins to notice that he often develops anxiety. Over time, following this emotion, strange thoughts or fantasies begin to arise in him. For example, that he might hit another person, cut someone with a knife, call someone names, or rape, or that something bad might happen on its own, for example that his relatives will die, or he himself will become infected with a terrible disease. Since thoughts arise in his own head, the person begins to doubt whether he really wants to commit these terrible acts, or has even already committed them, but, simply, forgot about it, or suddenly it happens against his will, when he loses control. And then such a person begins to especially vigilantly monitor his thoughts, feelings, and actions. And in this he is helped by some rules (rituals), that is, special habits. For example: double-checking everything, correcting your thoughts from bad to good, avoiding certain things (knives, numbers, words, emotions, certain people, public places), diligently monitor cleanliness and order, and so on. So the initial anxiety develops into obsessive thoughts, and then into rituals. And then it becomes noticeable to others. But all this time, the reason why all this started for him remains hidden from the person himself. And, as a consequence of such ignorance, he begins to make assumptions that he is mentally ill, or going crazy, or that this is a phenomenon unknown to science. But these assumptions frighten him even more, because no one wants to end up in a mental hospital. Therefore, people try to find at least some kind of peace. And they often find him in special chats dedicated to obsessions. There they meet people like them, with the same problems. They can freely share with them about their suffering and receive comfort and approval from those who sincerely understand them. However, neither chats, nor rituals, nor diagnoses help remove a person’s suffering, but only provide very short relief. But soon after this you have to run again for a new portion of reassurance, which becomes less and less effective. That is, the methods found also stop working over time. And the person finds himself in complete despair. It is somewhat similar to a butterfly that has been caught in a spider’s web and is trying to free itself from it. But the more she flutters, the more she entangles herself in a sticky web, until she finds herself completely immobilized. You will quickly learn how to cope with OCD on your own from this video: Mistakes that increase obsessions: Now that we have come to complete despair, let's begin unravel this web in order to understand what the person did wrong, what his mistake was and how to act correctly in order to begin to get out of this web.1. And the first mistake is that a person perceives his condition as a classic disease. Therefore, he chooses those methods of treating it that worked in other cases. For example, if you have a headache, you need to remove this pain. In our case, a person is trying with all his might to get rid of his anxiety. Therefore, he takes actions that help reduce it. And anxiety, like the fear of the unknown, decreases if we receive a lot of information about what we are afraid of. For example, if we are afraid of the dark (nothing can be seen there), then it is enough to shine a flashlight (get more information) and our fear goes away. After all, right? And therefore, the brain of such a person begins to look for the causes of anxiety in the outside world: in microbes, in mental illnesses, in one’s own bad desires. It is this process that triggers the flow of obsessive thoughts. That is, wanting to reduceanxiety, a person begins to look for where it could come from. But, since he is looking for a reason from the outside (and not in psychological reasons), such assumptions only begin to frighten him more. For example, sometimes people come to me for consultation who interpret any of their bodily symptoms as oncology. That is, they believe that this is how they protect themselves from serious danger. But, in fact, they are only in vain intimidating themselves with what they, in fact, do not have.2. The second mistake is absolute trust in your obsessive thoughts. Of course, the logic here is quite clear. If I don’t trust my own thoughts, it means I’m crazy, or I have a split personality, which is also not good. Therefore, since these thoughts appeared in my head, they must be completely truthful. It can be strange to watch such people when they themselves say about themselves that these obsessions are complete nonsense, but at the same time they completely trust and obey them. K for example, a young mother who loves her child and at the same time is afraid that she might harm him with a knife. She admits that this has never happened (she has never done any harm). That is, she has reasonableness in this matter. But at the same time she adds, “what if…”. From this “what if” it is clear that she primarily relies on these very random obsessive thoughts, and secondarily on her mind. Or a person who, with his rituals, is trying to prevent death of loved ones. He also understands that such actions look quite stupid, but mystical thinking, for some reason, takes over in this case.3. The third mistake is the use of calming rituals: rechecking, washing, avoiding, correcting. All these useless actions create a slight feeling of stability and power over the situation. This is somewhat similar to a situation when a person, for example, is doing poorly at work (the boss scolds him), and when he comes home, he washes the dishes and feels bad. this is better, since by this action he proves to himself that he can still do something, that he has power over his life. But rituals are far from being as harmless as they seem. You begin to get used to them. And over time, a person can no longer do without them. And after some time, his whole life turns into a series of such obsessive actions. In my practice, I have encountered cases when a person brought himself to such a state that he actually performed the same ritual for hours (for example, correcting bad words on good) until he says everything perfectly smoothly without hesitation. This interfered with work, personal life and any interaction with society.4. The fourth mistake can be considered looking for support. This includes communicating in OCD chats, endlessly searching for information about your normality, contacting all kinds of doctors in order for them to say that everything is fine with you. For example, at the beginning of therapy, some clients do not Realizing this, they ask many times: are they crazy, am I wrong with their diagnosis, have they misled me, etc. This action is a complex social ritual that shifts the meaning of a person’s life from his usual goals to obsessive maintenance of social approval. But, oddly enough, such a requirement only irritates others. After all, they want to approve of you of their own free will, and not when it is demanded of them. The harmfulness of this process is also that, despite any assurances from specialists and others about your normality, nothing changes inside the person himself. And every time he becomes more and more convinced that he himself cannot believe in his own normality. This means, as he believes, either people do not understand what is happening to him, or something really terrible is happening to him. The path of development of obsessive thoughts and rituals: So, it turns out that the person, at first, began to look for the reasons for his anxiety not inside , but outside, which led to the emergence of inappropriate thoughts. Then he completely trusted these thoughts, that they were telling the truth. Then he began to perform meaningless rituals, which, as it were, were intended to remove these inadequatethoughts. As a result, he began to consider himself unhealthy or abnormal and therefore began to look for evidence of his normality and approval from other people. Which only led to the understanding that “I’m not like everyone else,” “I’m strange or even sick,” “bad,” and “society won’t accept me like that.” So you and I came through the 4 main mistakes of an OCD person to the point of despair. Healing from OCD (obsessive thoughts): Well, now let's talk about healing, about the right way, how to avoid these mistakes and not confuse yourself in the web of obsessions. This will certainly not be an easy path. And its main difficulty lies in the fact that it outwardly contradicts the natural course of events. Therefore, let’s first introduce two rules that will help you move in the direction of healing: First: If something does not cure you, but only temporarily masks your problem, then for example, rituals, then you shouldn’t do this. And second: Healing the soul, just like medical treatment, can be unpleasant. But unpleasantness or incomprehensibility does not mean that we need to give up on it. That is, we completely remove the temporary relief, and begin to practice unpleasant healing. Steps of healing: Now let’s move on to specific steps to correct our mistakes. 1. First of all, when you once again feel anxiety, you need to refuse to look for its causes in the outside world, and turn your gaze to your personality. A small clarification, you don’t need to look inside yourself for illnesses or bad thoughts. Looking at your personality means understanding what the part of you that causes anxiety wants? What is she afraid of inside you? Maybe she is afraid of another part that she considers a monster or a villain? Even if this is not very clear to you yet, you can simply give up looking for external threats. And you can understand in detail why anxiety appears in your personality, together with an experienced psychologist who will help you separate attitudes, emotions, behavioral scenarios, and show you a holistic picture of your inner world. I have already made a video about the underlying cause of OCD in more detail, so you can watch it at this link: But you probably have a question, what to do if obsessive thoughts come on their own? 2. And here we must correct the second mistake. Namely, stop trusting these obsessive thoughts. You need to see them as just thoughts that accidentally appeared in your head, and not react to them in any way. Yes, this will not be easy, since anxiety may intensify to push you to act according to your usual pattern. But it is important for you to focus on those reasonable understandings of reality that you already have. Usually, during consultations for these cases, we, together with the person, create a whole set of such realistic ideas, which then help in a difficult situation to rely on them, and not on mystical fantasies .For example, we analyze the real professional signs of insanity, so that the person himself can always evaluate himself and say whether he is sick or not. I have also already made a detailed video about this, watch it at the link here: 3. As for performing rituals, everything is very simple. They need to be completely abandoned. Including from rituals of seeking confirmation of one’s normality. But you will say: “it’s easy for you to say - give up rituals, and we will have to live through this terrible anxiety without any, even fictitious, help.” And here you are right, in the beginning, it will be a little difficult. However, one of the most important elements of overcoming OCD is refusing to avoid anxious feelings. That is, you need to learn to live them fully. Essentially, in this way you begin to contact your inner unconscious world, helping it resolve its conflict situations. Yes, there are also many hidden nuances in this process that are important to take into account. Therefore, it is better to undergo such a stay with a knowledgeable psychologist who deals with the topic of OCD and understands all its complex mechanisms. For example, I have cases when during such practice a person declares that he has)