So-called moralists call self-love selfishness, forgetting that the better we treat ourselves, the better we treat others. Then they pay us back in kind, because it is important for a person to feel important and by definition he will love the one who loves him. There is no such thing as mutual love. And if it seems that it exists, then this is an unhealthy pathological passion of an unhealthy soul. True love is always completely mutual. An egoist is a mentally exhausted person who directs the last resources of his body to maintaining his life, physical and mental. Self-love is, first of all, accepting yourself as you are. Closely associated with dislike for oneself is an inferiority complex, the reason for which is that a person expects an evaluative attitude towards himself like “you’re great if you do as I want or as all normal people do.” A complex person idealizes his imperfection or his perfection and simply cannot come to terms with his shortcomings, mistakes and failures. Any annoying little thing in life arouses in him an acute feeling of guilt. His sense of duty is shaken. He didn't do what was needed. These stereotypes are ingrained in us since childhood, and, growing up, we often do not ask ourselves what, to whom and for what we owe, and why we endlessly owe others, but owe nothing to ourselves. When a parent does not love or simply scolds a child, taking out his inner spiritual inferiority on him, the child perceives all this as the truth, because in early childhood he is not yet able to analyze information and “separate the wheat from the chaff.” The attitudes given by parents can last a lifetime and significantly poison it. Here we must clearly realize that the parents acted this way because of their own dysfunctional internal state. Any tendency to feel guilt kills, because guilt gives rise to self-punishment. A person can get sick due to feelings of guilt, sabotage success and break relationships. A mentally healthy person can only feel annoyance, but not guilt. So, in order to love yourself, you must first accept yourself as you are. This means that you should not have the slightest claim regarding your appearance, character, abilities, financial situation, or relationships. We have in the world around us what is inside us. And if you don’t like the situation, you need to gradually change it, and not feel guilty and suffer. We are often very dependent on the opinions of others. But those around us are just a mirror of our attitude towards ourselves. To change the reflection, you need to change yourself. To love yourself, realize that you don't have to be perfect and you don't have to live up to anyone else's expectations. You deserve all the best just by the very fact of your existence. Create a positive image of yourself in your head and live with it. Do more things for which you can praise yourself and be satisfied with yourself. And, if something is wrong, don’t make a mountain out of a molehill, let it go and enjoy life, no matter what. source Accepting yourself is not an easy process, and perhaps, like in every new business, you need help. You need specific tools, with the help which, you can make your life more enjoyable and relaxed. On November 30, I will be conducting a webinar on the topic: “Acceptance - myth or reality?” The webinar will only have practical work that will allow you to learn to accept and love yourself for who you are, and also accept others as they are. Read more about the webinar HERE