The decision to divorce is one of the most difficult, especially if there are children in the family. Therefore, doubts before such a fateful decision are normal. But what if the period of doubts has dragged on and the decision has not been made? Neither here nor here. I can’t get a divorce, nor can I live peacefully with my husband. The most common doubts that overcome me before making a decision about divorce: what if I don’t meet anyone and will be left alone forever - my unmarried girlfriends have been looking for years and can’t find anyone, what if I get divorced, he he will immediately find someone and be happy, and I will bite my elbows that I didn’t keep such a man who is in great demand financial doubts - what if I can’t cope financially alone, what if he won’t pay alimony, how will we divide property, fears for children - how? children without a father, what if I ruin their lives, deprive them of their father? social fears - they will be judged by relatives, friends, acquaintances; fear of losing something familiar; fear of pain and loneliness, which will inevitably happen for some time after a divorce. How can you help yourself and make a decision? About financial decisions doubts, I already wrote recently in this article How to leave your husband when you have children and a shared home? Children are a separate topic, about which I will write a separate article. And today we’ll talk about the fear of being alone. Here I want to draw your attention to this point . When a woman lives for a long time with a man who does not suit her, she gets used to this man, to his behavior, to his attitude towards her. And gradually this becomes the norm for women. It begins to seem like this is what relationships are like. And this is the only attitude that can be towards me. And when thinking about finding a new partner, a woman expects that all men will be the same (and she no longer wants the same), but she doesn’t believe in others. Somewhere on Instagram someone has a different relationship, but not in my life. The main problem of women who have been in a destructive relationship with a man for a long time is a drop in her self-esteem and a decrease in the level of the norm (that is, the fact that she considers it the norm in his life). Hence the thought that he will quickly find himself, and I will bite my elbows. That is, self-esteem becomes so low that a woman believes that her man is an alcoholic/womanizer/miser/narcissist, and he will quickly find her, and I am even less worthy than him and in general I won’t find anyone. Plus, this is compounded by the loss of the skill of attracting attention. You live married, put on a sweatshirt and go for a walk with your child, and naturally no attention. And again, reinforcement of the fear that no one is interested in me and there are no normal men. (Why should normal men pay attention to a woman who, with all her appearance, shows that she is closed to acquaintance). Therefore, if you are tormented by doubts about divorce, ask yourself a question - if I were confident in myself and in my ability to attract good men, I Would you stay married to your current husband? If not, then you need to start by building up your self-esteem. And it’s better with the help of a good specialist, so as not to walk in circles and not step on the same rake. I will be happy to help you with this in a personal consultation in Dubai or online around the world.* Instagram belongs to Meta, which is recognized as an extremist organization in Russia.