Today I decided to write about the complex debilitating state of “nobody”. How to live with dignity next to yourself when a simple Human life seems like a dream. When the state of nobody drowns out all desires and loss of self occurs. A person loses not only himself, but also his purpose in life, and awareness of himself as an individual. Personality is erased, only the body remains, which, upon closer examination, consists of rules, norms and dogmas avoiding feelings and prohibiting oneself from true pleasure, which is achieved through deprivation, use and fear. A person becomes so accustomed to a ghostly role that he is thoroughly imbued with the desire to please and is ready to live for days on end in dreams of better days after the most difficult trials. All beliefs come down to only one thing that good is achieved only through suffering, as in fairy tales about Cinderella (you can only show your beauty through backbreaking work) or the scarlet flower (you can only watch your beloved, because I = a monster). Both Cinderella and the monster are essentially stereotypes - a nobody - a creature that no one needs. At what point does a person read behavior patterns from heroes who, in essence, avoid direct feelings and open expressions of love. Suffering, deprivation, pain and despair drive a person and in moments of rapprochement it is necessary to prove to myself and the world that I am worthy of being loved. The ban on love was formed long before the events of today. The metaphors of Cinderella and the monster sit deep in the wounded soul and destroy the thirst for relationships, exhausting a person with unambiguous manifestations of evidence of love. Conventionally, one can call the states “Cinderella syndrome” and “Monster syndrome”, they manifest themselves as signals for salvation, a way out of the current situation. At the same time, a person clearly understands internal motivation, with the help of which he forms his own principles and beliefs, with the help of which he chooses the conditions for achieving a goal: to be worthy of love. The trap of thinking in achieving and how a person achieves a goal, what he thinks about, what he says and how it does it. Moreover, the mechanism itself starts long before the current state, when confidence in love disappears, i.e. in the attention that you are seen, understood, noticed and accepted. For example, even the phrase itself: to be worthy of love speaks for itself. Firstly, it points to the past and a person wants to be worthy of love, as once upon a time, perhaps in youth or childhood. Secondly, the question immediately arises of how to be worthy of love now, if the habits of simply being were formed at the stage of personality formation, at the moment when a person is fixed on a relationship. When watching fairy tales, cause-and-effect relationships are built between good and evil, the use of goods (labor and material values) for the sake of love = attention. Why was the plot from a fairy tale taken as an example? With the help of a fairy tale, you can see the current situation, so to speak, from a distance from the outside. Characters are identified in one way or another in their lives and heroes are perceived as significant persons from real life, who prompt and orient a person in the space of relationships, narrow the circle of communication and correlate with the line of behavior of the individual. For the human brain, any information is perceived as a fait accompli, while in a stressful state, a reconfiguration of conventions can instantly occur, experience can be destroyed and replaced with knowledge, compensating feelings to the necessary state that a person accepts thanks to the preserved values. Thus, a person begins to consciously operate with his feelings, avoiding the concept of feelings, because emotionality is blocked deep inside and is protected by layers of habitual reactions and ways of responding to each situation. And since a person’s life is cyclical and moves as if in a spiral, the created spring of life’s ambitions is periodically clamped precisely in the place where it was once difficult , it is painful and difficult, this is approximately how the trigger (hook) works. Each clamp is felt in the human body as physical pain and manifests itself in1