From the author: This article is about how the most cruel sadistic tendencies are formed. I tried to avoid sophisticated psychoanalytic constructions, presenting only the very essence - what remains in my head a year or two after reading the thickest book on the proposed topic. Alexey Lysenko Cancer HOW TO PROTECT FROM A VAMPIRE One young lady wrote to me: “You would better explain how to protect yourself from a psychological vampire...”. Instead of blurting out something like “give him a pumpkin with an aspen frying pan,” I suddenly promised to answer seriously. And now, having spent half the night and day, I post my Gulivier answer on the Internet, where even five sentences is already too much. But there’s nothing to do, I picked up the tug, don’t say I’m not your husband. Accept my humble work, unknown gentlemen-readers. 1. WHERE DO VAMPIRES COME FROM We all come from childhood. A person’s character develops between the ages of five and seven. What needs to be done to turn a rosy-cheeked baby of any gender into a cruel vampire? Almost nothing. It only takes one tyrant teacher who suppresses the child, ridicules, mocks, and humiliates him at every opportunity for the little one to begin to develop “fangs.” He learns sadism from a domestic tyrant, absorbing his behavior patterns like a sponge. When he is suppressed and humiliated, he endures in order to avoid further bullying. But because of this need to endure, enormous psychological stress accumulates inside him. Plus, due to his inability to resist bullying, he feels like a complete insignificance. Then part of this internal tension, hidden anger and feeling of his own insignificance will remain with him for the rest of his life, as a habitual state of the nervous system. How can our growing vampire live without exploding? We need to vent this tension and anger somewhere. And he is looking for something weaker to discharge. He throws bricks at the windows, breaks light bulbs in the entrance, writes nasty things on the walls, tears off the legs of frogs, then takes on cats and those who are younger and weaker. Do you know what happens when a person releases tension? Imagine three liters of some kind of lemonade... and a five-hour flight on a plane with a non-working toilet. Now imagine your feelings when the toilet finally works. The release of any strong tension gives great pleasure. This is how the sadistic circle closes. Destruction, mockery or violence against someone weaker brings release and pleasure. But that is not all. By suppressing and humiliating someone, our still little vampire restores self-esteem, thinking something like this: since I can mock someone, destroy them, bring them to tears, then I’m not such a nonentity. Then the vampires grow up, often flock together and begin to poison someone together. Their psychological claws become increasingly sharp and cruel. In extreme cases, it comes to the most severe beatings, rapes and murders. And the more the victim suffers, cries, asks for mercy, the stronger the pleasure, release and need of the vampire to repeat sadistic actions. Now, I hope, in general terms it is clear where millions of people who do nasty things with pleasure come from. 2. FORMULA OF VAMPIRE ACTIONS Sadism develops very quickly. But bullying and violence can land you in jail. And tension accumulates regularly. Therefore, when a vampire grows up, he begins to look for a permanent victim or victims. To get her, a vampire knows how to be affectionate, caring and kind. And only after making sure that the “fly” is properly stuck in the web does it show its real face. It looks like this. So he became friends with you. He says something nice, presents gifts, surrounds you with warmth and affection, pampers you, lifts you to heaven. You are happy, you decide to be intimate, you trust him completely... and suddenly he hurts you very much. Insults, humiliates,driven by a tank according to self-esteem. This is still the best case scenario. At worst, he raises his hand. Then, of course, he apologizes. Asks for forgiveness. He swears that this won't happen again. But it won’t be long until the next brutal blow from a clawed paw. A similar scenario will be repeated many times, often almost weekly, or even daily, in all the vampire’s romantic relationships. Caress, warmth, claws under the skin. Caress, warmth, fangs. Claws and fangs are, of course, a metaphor. They can be replaced by hurtful words, unfounded accusations, insults, dirty speculation about you, subtle bullying disguised as compliments. It seems that they are telling you something good, but at the end of the phrase, in a pseudo-joking form, there follows a poisonous blow to your self-esteem. A vampire will do something very similar to his subordinates if he manages to become a boss. Vampires love power more than anything else. It provides them with enormous opportunities for self-affirmation and restoration of psychological balance at the expense of all the people under their control. 3. HOW A VAMPIRE GET COMMUNICATION AND ATTENTION Vampires are great manipulators and pretenders. To get close to their prey, they can be as sweet as honey and soft as feathers. This is how they behave with loved ones in between paw strikes. But they don’t stand on ceremony with strangers and distant ones. At the slightest opportunity, sensing someone’s vulnerability and weakness, they do not miss the opportunity to relieve tension, enjoy someone’s humiliation and assert themselves. In other words, they are rude, insolent, insulting, telling people off, doing everything to piss them off and thus get a ton of attention. Try to attract people's attention with something good. You are tired of attracting. And vampires have their own fail-safe method - a pot of poop. They throw it out at you - and now it's attention! They are already communicating with all their might. The best illustration is the millions of trolls on the Internet. It doesn’t matter to them that attention is a minus sign. But how passionate!!! Next, my deepest apologies for the toilet language. But there is no other way to convey the vampire essence. Shit and all its other synonyms are the favorite words of vampires. They are generally great assholes. In order to attract attention to themselves and gain the supposedly “legal” right to sink their fangs without remorse, they try to... do everything around them that is possible. It is by this sign that they are always easy to recognize. At the beginning of your acquaintance, they constantly make everything around you, but for the time being they personally feed you with affectionate words. Got attached, trusted, relaxed, God forbid, fell in love? Now is the time to take care of you. And don’t doubt that your turn will come too. Moreover, you will get the most. You are now a close person. And the vampire won't let you go so easily. 4. HOW A VAMPIRE JUSTIFIES HIMSELF The vampire attributes all his shortcomings to the world around him. To put it professionally, it projects outward. He endlessly reproaches people for meanness, hypocrisy, lies, pretense, dishonesty, arrogance - anything, just so as not to recognize these qualities in themselves. This gives him the following psychological benefits: by allegedly attacking the bad, he does not feel guilty for what he has done; by insulting, humiliating and suppressing, he gets rid of internal tension; by making false accusations against people, he receives a pseudo-legitimate reason for bullying and the opportunity to enjoy his “greatness.” Vampires think well of themselves. “We are not like that, life is like that...” is their favorite proverb. They escape from reproaches of conscience by finding high justifications for their bullying: defense of family honor, public morality, national dignity, religious traditions, anything, as long as this can mask their base habit of mocking people for the sake of their own pleasure and self-affirmation. 5.VAMPIRES AND POWER Vampires love power. And they strive for it. There are especially many of them in all kinds of law enforcement and security structures, government offices, criminal communities, etc. If they have enough brains, some of them climb very high, striving for absolute, nobodyand unlimited power. Caligula. Grozny. Hitler. Stalin. Beria. Pol Pot... and a whole sea of ​​smaller conquerors and tyrants who flooded the world with blood and bathed in it with ecstasy. All of them were psychological vampires and came from vampiric / read - sadistic / families, from which the overwhelming number of criminals, terrorists, revolutionaries, rapists, serial killers, sadists, scum, ghouls and trolls of the lesser sort emerge into life. The creation of great empires, wars, revolutions, ideas of racial superiority, the fight against infidels, the Inquisition, nationalism... - all this was and remains a convenient screen for them and a justification for their bloodthirstiness. After all, it is much more pleasant to think that you are cruel because you are fighting for a great idea than to admit that you torment people for your own pleasure, in order to get rid of internal tension, permanent aggressive dysphoria and a hidden feeling of your own insignificance. That is why, when, after brutal reprisals against the victim, vampires fall into the hands of the guardians of the law, they all unanimously “lose” their memory and say that they do not understand how this happened. Otherwise, they would have to admit that they did it solely for their own pleasure and satisfaction of psychological needs. 6. VAMPIRE IN THE FAMILY Every vampire, regardless of gender, strives to become an absolute tyrant in the family. The vampire does not let go of his victims. It's not easy to find a new person who will tolerate him. And the departure of a person refutes the myth of vampire greatness. That is why Stalin was mortally offended by his wife, who committed suicide, thereby showing the illusory nature of his omnipotence. Maintaining power over the victim at any cost is a matter of life and death for a vampire. That's why they fight to the end. And they do not hesitate to use any of the most vile methods of control, just to keep them. I knew one woman who gave birth to two children and lived with a vampire for fifteen years, having no passport, no job, no money, and more than once spent the night in the clothes her mother gave birth on the landing, where the vampire put her for “educational” purposes. If the victim does escape, vampires go to any lengths. They are trying to deprive everyone of their livelihood in order to force them to return. They swear they will improve. They influence through friends and relatives. In the worst case scenario, if they cannot be returned, they may be mutilated or killed. After all, the fact that the victim jumped off the hook, proving the illusory nature of his power, is completely unbearable for the vampire. But all vampire promises are nothing more than hot air. Because the character of the vampire remains the same. And he cannot change his sadistic habits and behavior patterns. And most importantly, he doesn’t want to. Others suffer from them. And with their help, he gets pleasure, asserts himself and gains peace of mind for a while. 7. HOW TO PROTECT FROM A VAMPIRE? By and large, it is impossible to protect yourself from a vampire who is always nearby. After all, he cannot help but attack. This is his vampire nature. But I’ll still suggest something. If a vampire is your husband or wife, as soon as you discover this, set a condition: either he starts going to psychologists and working on himself - or you leave. The likelihood that he can handle this on his own is slim to none. Let's fight back the vampire from the very beginning. Don't let yourself be humiliated. If things haven't gone too far and the vampire is young, you have a small chance of stopping his downward slide. Do not show weakness and, if possible, look for defenders. Someone else's greater power, character and strength, unless it is a bluff, is the only thing that can hold back the sadistic type of vampires. They respect strength and authority. Don't play their games. Ignore the attacks and jokes. After all, the vampire just wants you to get turned on. Don't believe what you are accused of. All vampires are great liars and manipulators. Don't be fooled by persuasion if you decide to run away. This is a vampire scheme: ask for forgiveness, caress, bring closer, sink your fangs again. If a vampire is your boss, do not get close and keepdistance. Ignore nasty things and don’t allow yourself to be drawn into vampire games. If you can't bear it anymore, it's better to quit. Health is more valuable. If a vampire raises his hand to you, run immediately! Once you realize that there is a vampire in front of you, do not hope that you can re-educate him. Abandon this crazy hope once and for all. To correct a vampire or vampire, it takes a huge amount of effort, time, knowledge and, most importantly, their ardent desire, which they usually do not experience. Leave them to those who themselves grew up in similar families. Things will be at least relatively balanced between the two vampires. Or they will sink their fangs into each other in turns. Or, perhaps, one of them will receive pleasure and psychological satisfaction in the role of a victim (masochism is called/), proud of their moral superiority, great patience, ability to forgive outrageous abominations, etc. If you grew up in a good, normal family, you will have to It’s a very high price to pay for the “happiness” of being married to a vampire. Including the fact that vampire habits will be passed on to your children. Life with a vampire is sad. Victims who lack the strength or intelligence to escape often run out of patience. Unable to endure the bullying any longer, some of them break down, pick up a knife, a cast-iron frying pan, and so on, in order to deal with the tormentor once and for all. Or they begin to waste away, get sick and grow old ahead of time. All diseases, as we know, are caused by nerves. And life with a vampire is a chronic, carpet-bombing of the nervous system, leading to disorder of all physiological systems of the body. I described an extreme case in order to indicate as clearly as possible the psychological characteristics of a sadistic vampire. In real life, the degree of manifestation of vampirism in a person’s character can be very different. We're all a little vampire. But just a little, if we are talking about relatively normal and decent people. Everything has its limits, followed by things that are completely unacceptable, unforgivable and unbearable. And if this is so, you need to run. Otherwise, you will have to lay everything at the vampire’s feet: nerves, health, dreams of a happy future, the psyche of children and grandchildren. Your only life.+++ PS Everything stated above applies to only one type of psychological vampirism - sadistic. There are many other types of character, each of which has its own specific ways of sucking out psychological energy from those who are nearby. You can whine and cry forever. Demand from a loved one to become different. Take revenge on him for the bad things that some other people did to you. Force him to change his desires for yours. Doing something out of spite instead of clearly explaining what exactly you want. Constantly impose your ideas about the world, tastes, values. Project your shortcomings, and then blame them for them. Cynically manipulate, forcing people to do for you what you should do yourself. Humiliate. Break boundaries. Demand the generally impossible - that a person, in some unknown way, always act in full accordance with all your expectations. The consequences of a vampire attack, regardless of the type of psychological vampirism, are always approximately the same. Irritation. Loss of energy. Emptiness. Weakness. Spoiled mood. Outbursts of aggression, which also need to be thrown out somewhere, or huge waste of energy in order to suppress it /aggression/ in oneself. Grievances. Discomfort. Stress. Mental overstrain. Pressure surges. And if energy is sucked often - weakened immunity, illness, depression, despair, apathy, loss of joy in life. Of course, vampires are a metaphor. As well as the fact that they suck energy. To put it more precisely, they are depriving us of it. By attacking, making inappropriate demands, humiliating and suppressing, they plunge us into stress and an abyss of negative emotions and experiences. All this affects brain activity, hormonal processes, and physiology in general. A legitimate question arises: is it possible to get rid of vampirism so as not to destroy loved ones. Can,