HOW TO SPEAK TO A TEENAGER SO THAT YOU BE UNDERSTOOD? Questions that parents often ask at our meetings sound something like this: “Why doesn’t he (the teenager) hear me? Why? does he react so aggressively? Why don’t we understand each other?” Of course, to answer these questions, we need to deal with each case separately, everything happens individually. Yes, and the method of circulation varies. And we may not even notice what and how we say. Sometimes our request may seem like an accusation or an instruction. As a rule, aggression and resistance may arise in response. I propose here and now to try to figure this out and understand the reasons why it is impossible to understand and hear a teenager. For this I propose a small exercise, but more on that later. It seems to me that understanding and communicating with a teenager, and not only with him , depends on what is said, what words are used to say it. Not everyone can do this (We will be able to notice and track this in the exercise.) If you manage to convey your thought and not blame, then the conversation will take place. If not - conflict, quarrels, misunderstanding, slamming doors, etc. And then, confusion, anger, guilt. What to do? How to speak? Let's try! I suggest a small exercise! And so: Try to notice how you hear and react to complaints and statements addressed to you: 1. Address yourself: “I’m not beautiful, I’m fat, I can’t, I need to lose weight, I need to start doing.....” How do you feel now when you say these words to yourself? What reactions do they cause? What do you want to do?2. Now change “I” to “YOU”: “You’re ugly, You’re fat, You can’t, You need to lose weight, You need to start doing...”What’s happening to you now? What feelings and desires arise? Have you noticed the difference? Now ask yourself, how do you talk with your teenager, and not only with him? Do you speak to him from the position of accusation, from the position of “You” or from the position of “I”? How do you talk to him? Do you notice? If the exercise was useful and you noticed a difference, I would be glad to hear your feedback. If you have any questions or difficulties, write in private messages or call. I am a psychologist, Gestal therapist, I work with teenagers and parents. I will be glad to help)