From the author: How to become feminine? Is it necessary to break yourself and create a certain image of femininity for this? Isn’t it enough to simply return what is inherent in nature, getting rid of unnecessary traits of an immature personality? Femininity is given to every woman by nature by default, so the statement: “I don’t have femininity” is not true, but the statement: “Femininity is lost,” in my opinion , more accurate. Where does it go then and why can’t others see it? Let's take a look! In this article we will not touch on external indicators of non-femininity - this is a different topic, and the external does not always have the same meaning as the internal - the wrapper does not always correspond to the content. Femininity does not disappear anywhere, it is veiled in the process of life, as the occurrence of certain psychological distortions of perception, under the masks of: 1. Indifference. Indifference is a human state, an indifferent, devoid of interest, passive attitude towards the environment. The mask of indifference is worn for various reasons, as a protection against resentment - the world is hostile. It is often acquired in childhood. When a child needs to show emotions, but adults do not accept them or reject them. This is how fear of emotional manifestations arises. Restraining emotional impulses, he puts on a mask of indifference. In adulthood, this helps protect against reproaches and grumpiness of loved ones. But the danger lies in the fact that this mask grows and becomes a permanent state. Why does indifference kill femininity? Because it deprives love, the most important feeling for a woman, and creates coldness in the soul towards everyone and everything. Can a cold and mentally callous woman be called feminine?2. Mistrust. Distrust is a doubt about reliability, truthfulness, as well as a suspicious attitude towards something or someone. It can develop in childhood if the mother did not pay the child the attention he needed in the first year of his life. Or there were no clear and identical methods of education for all family members: father, mother, grandmothers, grandfathers have opposite, different requirements for the child. Distrust of the world also arises when the baby is constantly left to his own devices. The child does not understand what to do and how to act, and does not feel supported. In adult life - distrust. Distrust can also form when you have experienced betrayal, divorce, or let down loved ones. People with low self-esteem suffer from distrust due to fear of their own vulnerability, trying to show themselves better than they really are. When a person treats others in such a way that those around him do not trust him: he lies, betrays..., then he involuntarily expects the same actions towards himself - distrust. How does distrust harm femininity? Distrust in people, the world, and therefore in men, for femininity is tantamount to suicide. If a woman does not see a man as a person, she labels all men with the same brush: “They all need only one thing,” “All men are assholes,” “It’s all about them - they are lazy,” then it is unlikely that any man will want to be among all of them .Distrust is the inability to give a man responsibility for his beloved, the habit of dragging all the vicissitudes of life on his own, like a draft horse - an image that is not conducive to femininity. Moreover, mistrust also breeds mistrust in intimate relationships - hence tightness, fear of opening up, expressing one’s desires, insincerity, and, as a result, dissatisfaction. Protection from which is not femininity.3. Quarrelsomeness. Quarrelsomeness is a tendency to generate hostile, aggravated relationships due to petty intrigues, the struggle of personal interests. Quarrelsomeness often arises due to lack of self-confidence, both conscious and unconscious. A person lives feeling an incomprehensible anxiety - anxiety, as a result, irritability, anger, aggression accumulates... To pour out all these emotions, there is a victim - someone who is supposed to encroach on the interests and internal comfort of the troublemaker, so he deliberately does everything possible to hook, cause!