A popular request among my clients is working on relationships with parents. Timely separation and the ability to defend personal boundaries is the key to: harmonious relationships with a partner; adequate self-esteem; healthy relationships with colleagues and friends; Is it possible to make sure that your parents do not invade your personal territory, and that you do not experience feelings of guilt and shame for quarrels with them? Can. If at least three conditions are met: You are now financially and physically independent (you have a place to live and what to live on) You do not need regular help from your parents (in the form of a nanny, housekeeper and au pair) You are willing to spend time and effort on this (primarily emotional) If some of the conditions are not met, then it makes sense to work in this direction. Otherwise, you can proceed to the task. Here is a list of specific recommendations: Learn to say “no” without regrets or excuses. The basic rule of decisiveness: anyone has the right to ask you for anything, and you have exactly the same right to say “no” without any explanation. We define boundaries - topics and issues that you are ready to discuss with your parents (communication with relatives, for example) and what will always remain outside their field of vision (relationships with their spouse). We learn to express our emotions in response to a gross violation of boundaries. We are not afraid to talk about our feelings. We consistently respond to every violation by parents of your boundaries. It is consistency and patience that brings long-awaited results. Gradually, a new type of relationship will be built between you and your parents. This does not mean that the relationship will be colder and more distant, but it does mean that it will move to a fundamentally new level. It is important to be honest with yourself in this matter and, while defending your personal boundaries, not to intrude into the boundaries of your parents in the future (realize that that they also have the right to answer you “no” and not to involve you in those problems that you yourself do not share with them). If you believe that all this can be achieved while it’s difficult, contact me, I’ll tell you where to start. Even more information on the page of my community VKontakte - https://vk.com/stefanida_psy I will be glad to meet new people!