From the author: Anna Nikolaevna OshchepkovaBefore moving on to recommendations from the category “what to do?” and “what should I do?” I would like to talk about what a person with an illness or disability is like, how he feels. Each person is unique and his feelings are unique, but they can still be summarized and reflected in the following stages: First stage - Disability! (Disease!) Sudden lightning strike, stress. This is pain and helplessness, loss of the sense of time and space. Inability to understand what happened to you. Second stage - Why me and not someone else? The first attempt to understand what happened, to comprehend one’s new position, status, possible consequences. The third stage - Nothing better than this! Aggression towards everything around you. Then a state of complete hopelessness, apathy... A desire to give up life appears. Many people drive away these thoughts on their own. Others need help... The fourth stage is an attempt to float up, to hold on. Negotiations with God, doctors. A feverish search for a way out of a seemingly hopeless situation. Finding a life-saving straw, but... Danger again! Universal vigilance is necessary. Fifth stage - Depression again, a feeling of the futility of all previous attempts to cope with trouble. Losing friends, jobs. Possible alcohol and drugs. It is very dangerous! About two-thirds of disabled people (sick) stop at this point. With constant periods of loneliness and dulling of the vigilance of others, the most tragic consequences are possible. It is very important here to help a person quickly move to the next stage. Unfortunately, only twenty percent of disabled (sick) people succeed in this! Sixth stage - Saving a drowning person is the work of the drowning person himself. The main thing is that a purposeless life is not life. The seventh stage - Life is beautiful and amazing again. There is a process of confident and calm self-affirmation. The goal is becoming more real and closer. And now it has been achieved! Life has acquired not only meaning, but also a perspective created by your hands, your mind, your persistent, unbending, powerful character. But this is not the top yet. The eighth stage is the acquisition of equal rights and opportunities with healthy people. Only a few reach the top of the spiral. AND REMEMBER A DIAGNOSIS IS NOT A VERDICT, IT IS A PLAN FOR ACTION! Well, now the actual recommendations: Determine how you need to help and how you can help. Do what you can yourself, and get help to do the rest. Give the sick person enough time and energy to enjoy the relief and success of his life, and do not regret your own sacrifices. Appreciate the help and do not reject support. Involve other family members in caring for the sick. Discuss problems together and agree on a division of responsibilities. Don't carry the burden of worries alone. Keep in touch with the people around you. Don't shut yourself off from them and don't keep your feelings to yourself. You can consult with specialists (doctors, psychologists, rehabilitation specialists) or tell your friends and family about your problems. Leave yourself time to relax and do not give up pleasure. Remember the value of your own life, which is also needed by the person you are caring for. Take care of yourself! Forgive yourself and others if thoughts about someone else’s guilt haunt you. It’s better to think not about the culprits, but about what can be done to solve the current situation. Don’t scare yourself about the future. Debilitating fear takes away strength and prevents you from living in the present. Respect the interests of the patient, his beliefs, intentions and independence. Excessive guardianship is harmful because it interferes with his independent life.