When we put off something for a long time. When ideas come to us, but we don’t implement them. When texts come that we don’t write. Projects that we don’t launch. Dishes that we don’t cook. Surprises that we don’t arrange for others. Gifts that we don’t give ourselves and promises that We don’t hold back to ourselves.⠀Something freezes inside us every time. It becomes stale. Faith in oneself, in the fact that I can do it, becomes less. A crookedly launched project, an unsuccessfully implemented idea undermines our faith in ourselves and inspiration for something new less than a complete abandonment of the case.⠀Unsuccessful experience brings experience. Lack of experience brings a feeling of weakness. Deceiving yourself and your ideas undermines faith in YOURSELF. “I can’t trust myself. I don’t keep my promises to myself, how can I cope with something bigger? How can I rely on myself?” Sometimes we come to this cemetery of buried ideas and plans, promises. But more often we decide to forget them. And only the realization of others painfully reminds us that “I wanted it that way too. And I could..” ⠀And it’s also nice to dream about this dummy of realization - “As soon as I get my act together, I’ll immediately do it wow!” Not like all these. A REAL, WORTHY project/song/dance/trip."⠀And in these fantasies it’s sweet to fall asleep, but it’s bitter to wake up on a new day with old indecision and to “comfortable old slippers” - something that has become so familiar, familiar over the years, even though already shabby, unattractive, the eyes don’t sparkle, there’s no inspiration. Why change your slippers for new/red shoes? “It’s uncomfortable, provocative, people will look, you have to learn to walk in them, get used to it.. And here everything is already familiar, cozy, dull, even the sellers have insoles that fit the shape of the foot. Nothing, nothing... Then I’ll buy red shoes when the time comes, before that.”⠀And then I just don’t feel like it anymore... I put it off for so long that I burned out. That there was nothing left to burn... The comparison about shoes and slippers was given to me by a classmate in my 3rd year, when I couldn’t part with my boyfriend. I felt bad with him: I didn’t feel like I was opening up to him as a woman, I didn’t feel my inspiration, but I only felt like I was suffocating and wasting away in my 20s. But everything there was so familiar, so familiar and “you don’t want to change the old slippers for new unfamiliar shoes of freedom,” she told me. Yes.⠀Since then, this has been a comparison with me. In my life, I often stood in these old slippers, there were some projects, work relationships, friendships. And I stood there, feeling this fear of new shoes. Beautiful, desirable, but scary damn, “inaccessible.”⠀Remember that exciting feeling when you put on a new pair of beautiful shoes? Ohhh this joy, along with the inconvenience (especially if you’ve been driving around in sneakers for too long). You feel at the same time cool, but also terribly insecure - how is your leg moving, am I holding my back, am I walking like a broken grasshopper?)) But time passes, you get used to it, wear it to your liking and fly in it)⠀It’s the same with many new (not) things in life.⠀At first it’s exciting, unfamiliar, sometimes uncomfortable, awkward because there are a lot of new actions: Life after a breakupWork in a new position Body response to the first dance/yoga Your first accepted order⠀And then everything new becomes familiar. Understandable.⠀Only in life you can’t put on shoes called “relationships” or “freelancing” once; within all this, shoes have to be changed constantly. At unusual colors, models, heel heights again and again. Again and again, decide on something new.⠀In the modern rhythm, the newest shoes quickly turn into slippers, even if you haven’t had time to fully get used to them. You need to rebuild quickly, learn new things, do something differently:⠀It seems like you’ve just learned something , how something new has already been invented in this area. It seems that we just found a common language on some issue, and then there are new unclear points. I just created a cool algorithm of work, and then there are new introductory ones, we need to invent something again. And this is our readiness and unpreparedness, courage and fear of the new and changing depend on the internal state. A state that, perhaps, many are facing now!