In the large list of human phobias, along with others, there is blemmophobia - the fear of judgment from others. The other side of this “coin” is the desire to please everyone. Of course, the level of addiction can range from mild discomfort to severe irrational fear and even mental illness. You can’t please everyone! Definitely. But living in society requires flexibility. You need to think about those around you, loved ones, and colleagues, which is what most of us do. Moreover, we all like that others value us. Concern for social image is natural for a person. However, when the need to please family, partner, boss, and friends at all costs dominates, problems and destructive behavior begin. Constantly looking at others makes personal happiness and self-realization dependent on external factors. So, a person continues to live a life that he does not particularly want, but which corresponds to what others want and expect from him. He no longer needs intuition, intelligence, responsibility, risk-taking, or his own convictions. In the long run, due to the fear of judgment, he loses his individuality and lives someone else's life. Why do people seek the approval of others? At some point in their life, an approval-dependent person gets into the habit of putting the will of others above his own. The main reasons why this happens are the following: • low self-esteem, self-doubt, inferiority complex; • internal emptiness; • fear of loneliness; • emotional, physical, financial dependence. The trigger for such tendencies and conditions can be parental neglect, pressure , excessive care, criticism, excessive demands on the child. Growing up and at the same time getting used to it, a person stops noticing mistakes. He lives on autopilot. But constantly pleasing others, on the one hand, is very convenient and simple, on the other hand, it is tiring. If you decide to become more authentic and start respecting your life, the advice of psychologists will be useful to you. How to boost your self-confidence Being an adult means taking responsibility for your life. It is impossible to please everyone. Don't waste time in relationships where you are valued only if you follow certain patterns. No one likes to listen to criticism. But we need to deal with it, not avoid it. At the same time, try to distinguish between constructiveness and condemnation. Let others express their opinions, but they have no right to judge you. Learn to refuse. The word “no” spoken out loud helps to assert oneself. You will feel a little more free. Play with your fears. Are you afraid to laugh, dance in public, or wear your favorite swimsuit because of a complex? Do yourself a favor - ignore other people's views. Avoid toxic people, selfish people. They cling to weaknesses to manipulate people.Remember:1. Often, while others expect something from you, others do not understand that you expect something from them. Do your parents want you to live nearby? Are they ready to move for this? Does your boss ask you to dress differently? And he asks your opinion about his bow? Make your choice.2. The world doesn't revolve around you, most people don't care what you do.3. The judgment of others is neither correct nor absolute. We all live in accordance with our value system. If your mother thinks that by leaving you are abandoning her, this is her feeling. You should not feel guilty for what others think and feel.4. The opinions of others have neither legal nor moral force. If you manage to do what you enjoy, your self-esteem and self-esteem will increase. Steve Jobs is not a psychologist, but he is a super successful person. One of those who changed our world. Talking about the secret of his success, he emphasized that it is very important to hear your own inner voice behind the noise of the opinions of strangers. This one knows a lot more about you and what needs to be done. A good psychologist can teach you to listen to this voice..