From the author: This article is for adults who were children and can’t come to terms with the fact that they are already adults. 6 HARMFUL TIPS. How to ruin your relationship with your mother (step-by-step instructions) This article is for adults who were children and they just can’t come to terms with the fact that they are already adults. The relationship with our mother for each of us begins with two patterns built into us at the biological level: insane attachment, aka complete dependence, and rejection, neglect, bordering on indifference. We need the first in infancy and childhood in order to survive. It can be briefly expressed by the phrase: “You belong to me and no one else!” The second begins and is fully realized during adolescence and young adulthood and is necessary to create other meaningful relationships with one’s peers. It sounds: “I don’t need you! Leave me alone!” Both of these relationships are formed without your participation, they are deeply “hard-wired” programs, biologically reinforced. Attention! To form a difficult relationship with your mother, do not under any circumstances create a third, age-appropriate, conscious relationship of adults. Your attitude should not have individual characteristics, but should be a chaotic, contradictory mixture of the first two. It's simple. The brain launches them automatically. Don't think, just react as usual. You can’t look at your mother as Another Person. Forget all this nonsense about: “I am ME, and you are YOU. I do my job, and you do yours. I don’t live in this world to fit in with yours.” expectations, And you don’t live to live up to mine. And if we accidentally found each other, that’s great. If not, it can’t be helped.” You must continue to want something from your mother, to be offended that she does not give, to hate for control, to complain, showing helplessness. Get married or get married to escape from her. Choose a suitable partner for this. This is a whole art! The partner also should not understand why he needs a family. It is good if he also has a strong emotional connection with his parental family. The following scenarios are suitable: “good son”, “drug addict”, “hanger-on”, “major”, etc. Never try to lean on each other. Your partner should be less reliable than your mother. Indulge his immaturity by proudly taking upon yourself all the responsibility. You can leave him with the functions of a servant: shopping, minor repairs, etc. It is advisable to keep a separate budget and have different hobbies. This position will be strengthened by a couple of large “gifts from parents” - a car, winter clothes, a tourist trip, given not to the family, but specifically to your offspring personally. Periodically complain about your spouse to your mother, sighing helplessly about your hopeless fate. Drive yourself into emotional and material debt . Start using common or personal property “just like that.” Borrow a large sum of money on uncertain terms: “Take it for now, and we’ll see.” Link the promise of a share of the inheritance with the expectation of a certain attitude from you: “The apartment will go only to someone who treats me well!” That is, he does everything I say!” This will make you dependent on your mother, and will guide your emotions and actions. Instill in yourself the idea that by allowing your mother to take care of you, you are taking care of her. The idea itself is strange, but it will help greatly to complicate things. Like, “Well, she’s lonely,” “What will she do without us?”, “How will she live all alone.” "Grandma needs grandchildren." You can “allow” your family to cook food and clean, but the most powerful decision, about which there is even a fairy tale, will be to give your children to her. Re-read the fairy tale "Rapunzel". This is a very important tale for creating complexity in a meaningful way. A brilliant move: “It’s difficult for us, but she’s still full of strength and loves our children so much!”, and all sorts of other social myths about grandmothers will help you stop the development of the whole family. You never did.