From the author: Having studied your family history, you can find amazing coincidences in the destinies of your relatives. Try to find more happy occasions that give you the strength of the family. If you find tragic coincidences, try to avoid them yourself. Hidden, unconscious “loyalty” to the memory of a loved one, which forces a son to repeat the fate of his father or grandfather in some event or even in the date or manner of death - this occurs quite often in psychotherapeutic practice. This is especially evident when studying the history of a family. I will give an example from practice. The father of three sons dies in an accident at the age of 45. When his youngest, third son at the same age gets into an accident and dies, his older brother comes to psychotherapy for insomnia. He reports that it seems to him that it was no coincidence that his brother had an accident and died. The client was worried and nervous: why did they have a “family curse” in their family - their father and younger brother died in a car accident at the age of 45. A study of the family history showed that the client himself was seriously ill before his 45th birthday, underwent several operations and miraculously survived. The middle brother, at 45, had two minor accidents. According to Nikolai’s stories, when they celebrated the 45th birthday of their middle brother, he admitted that he did not think that he would live to that age. After the death of his younger brother, who after 40 years became a heavy drinker and often talked about death, they realized that they themselves too were in great anxiety in anticipation of something terrible somewhere after the age of 42-44 until the age of 45. Recalling those years, the client said that after 45 years he felt some kind of relief, as if he had crossed some line, after which is not afraid to live. He noted with surprise that he had not previously realized that all the problems with his illness and the accidents that his brothers got into were associated with the age of his father’s death. If he had known, then the death of his brother could have been prevented, he lamented, realizing that their the problems were related to anniversary syndrome. Since he already has an adult son, he realized that his and his son’s awareness of the anniversary syndrome could interrupt the possible negative scenario of his son preparing for death at 45. Sometimes behind the mask of an energetic and seemingly happy person hides a terrible depression, provoked by premonition, expectation and fear of death. The following story from practice is about this. A 40-year-old man, seemingly confident and strong. Successful in business and family. I came to consult about my son’s problems. When all the issues concerning his son were discussed, already leaving, he suddenly hesitantly returns and unexpectedly admits that he is already 40 years old, and his father died at 42. From these words, it becomes clear that my client has anniversary syndrome. At the age of 20, he lost his father, from whom his mother had been divorced for 10 years. At one time, the grief of loss gradually receded, but suddenly, about 5 years ago, the man was pierced by a premonition of death. He somehow very acutely realized that very soon he would catch up with his father in years, that in 5 years he would be the same age as his father died. This thought began to haunt him constantly. Over the past 2 years, he has gained weight after quitting smoking. This seemed significant to him, because his father also gained weight shortly before his death. A desperate anxiety settled in him, almost panic, that perhaps he didn’t have long to live, because he was so similar to his father in everything. In the end, along with the premonition of death, he began to feel heaviness and constant tension in his chest. It is clear that if he had not accidentally gotten to see a psychologist and undergone appropriate psychotherapy, he would hardly have survived. The term anniversary syndrome was first used by Josephine Hilgard to refer to specific cases of psychotic attacks that mark the age of loss of a parent. This term began to be used more widely after the research of the famous French psychotherapist Anne Anseline Schutzenberger. She believes that "anniversary syndrome has been proven many times in clinical studies and is notquestioned in various areas of family psychotherapy. However, its exact mechanism is still unknown." "Anniversary syndrome is usually understood as the repetition in people of the same age or on the same date of significant - traumatic or joyful - events in several generations." Many authors cite biography as a clear example Arthur Rimbaud, whose father left him when he was 6 years old, just as his father himself was left without a father at the age of 6. It seems that transgenerational transmission occurs in a completely mysterious way, when people's lives are programmed in such a way that the same thing happens to them age or on the same date, the same thing happens as with a parent, relative or close friend. It is believed that such a transfer occurs when some events, most often tragic, are experienced too strongly and cannot be forgotten. Perhaps in some cases. In some cases, information about such an event is transmitted genetically. Or if a person in childhood hears repeated repetitions of stories and hints about these events, and for various reasons he is “forced” to perceive them as something concerning him. Some are “forced” to repeat the fate of a loved one. or a distant relative, a feeling of guilt that if they don’t do this - false loyalty - they will betray them (“I am my mother’s daughter, I look like my mother, which means I must repeat her fate”) Others remain faithful to family “traditions” and false attitudes (“Dad died at 40, uncle died at 40, which means the men of our family must die at 40.”) The anniversary syndrome is largely explained by unconscious fears, those sacraments with which the fear of death and death itself are associated. It is known that Almost all cultures have a magical attitude towards dates and age. Let us remember the recent fears of millions of people before the advent of the 21st century. At one time, many people looked forward to the 20th century with trepidation and fear. And what “special” age for some men is 33 years old - the age of Christ’s death? Around the world, more than one hundred 33-year-old men seek death or commit suicide every year. Many neurotic men at this age may experience an incomprehensible depression, which successfully passes upon reaching the age of 34. It is not for nothing that 33 years is considered a crisis age for men. The phenomenon of an anniversary is almost always unconscious, and if it is to some extent realized, it is so vague that it usually happens at the level of intuition, dreams, incomprehensible anxiety, fears, or expectations and premonitions of death. Generated by fears and anxious expectations, the feeling of doom gives rise to illness, pushes to suicide, and can provoke accidents. In some cases, people, feeling that for some reason they must die at a certain age, can warn someone close to them that they will not live to see, for example, 40 years. How not to fall into the trap of anniversary syndrome? If there are recurring unfortunates in your family fates, similar ways of early death (especially for close relatives), and somehow you take this very seriously to heart, you need to be wary and tell yourself: “I am me, I have my own destiny, I choose a different path , I don’t have to follow the fate of my loved one, I have another choice, I choose life.” If you assume, feel that anniversary syndrome may negatively affect the fate of your loved ones and friends, you need to discuss this issue with them , so that they can realize their readiness or expectation to repeat the fate of others. In cases where there is a problem of suicide, cancer or other difficult issues in the family that you cannot cope with on your own, it is important to promptly seek help from those psychologists and psychotherapists who have experience in resolving such problems. Study your family tree. Does it contain repeating happy or unlucky dates, ages, events, destinies? If there is, then it is better to turn to a psychologist in time with the firm goal of breaking the “fatal” connection between generations, most often associated with magical thinking, with.