Let's imagine a girl, Valya, who is not happy with life. She often experiences a feeling of anxiety. Valya does not like conflict, and she has problems in relationships. It is difficult for her to make decisions and she is already so tired that I don’t want anything. Valya feels this way because she is worried about the problems she faces: - change of place of residence away from home - separation from a loved one - experiencing loss - feeling like a “black sheep” in the team - dissatisfaction with relationships within the family - feeling of constant fatigue And now Valya has already been knocked off her feet by a heavy wave and covered her head. What used to matter to her loses its meaning. Valya feels as if she is drowning. No matter what she does, she cannot swim to the surface. She is overcome by a feeling of despair that seems to have no end. Pseudo-support helps consolidate this state. Valya goes to her mother, friend, husband to share her feelings, and in response she hears: “I was just making it up.” yourself, don’t make a mountain out of a mountain - Don’t drink your brain - Everything is always wrong for you - It’s your own fault - Oh, is this really a problem? Here I have... Here it’s time for Valya to turn to a psychologist for professional support. But from within she is constrained by resistance, which is accompanied by thoughts: - Maybe she can still be patient? - What if I’m really guilty? - You can’t experience such feelings, pull yourself together , a rag! Valya doesn’t change anything, she continues to live and suffer like this for YEARS. Over time, she notices that her ears, then her stomach hurt, and then an incomprehensible rash appears on her skin. Valya goes to the doctors, but strangely, the results of the examination of the body are normal , but the sores don’t go away. I don’t want to scare anyone with this example. This is a scenario where Valya chooses to sit still and suffer: - What? Everyone lives like this. - Do I need it more than anyone? Another choice is to admit to myself: No, such conditions do not suit me. I feel like I can’t cope. I will ask for help and deal with what is happening in my life. I will learn to live the way I WANT, the way I like. No one will live your life for you. You choose: Give up hope that life will change and be patient for a year, two, ten, thirty...or Regain the right to manage your life .And if you need help for this, contact a psychologist.