From the author: To be a victim, saying that something is inaccessible to me, or everything is bad because of something, and especially - for someone, it’s incredibly nice. Here you have laurels of sympathy from those around you, here you have warmth for the outcasts, the defeated. In short, in the victim’s field it can even be very cozy with many amenities and goodies in addition. But the worst thing about this victim role is actually starting to be one. After all, if you are a victim, then the attitude towards you is appropriate - they will feel sorry for you, but will not particularly take you into account, knowing your characteristics. And you, exactly you, simply will not be visible. “She really wanted to be a victim in this situation. After all, then they would feel sorry for her, they would say that she was still great, the main thing is to continue to believe in herself. They would tell her that they love her, that they are proud of her. She would feel the warmth that she really needed right now. She had to play the role of a strong person coping with everything. And this is quite difficult. But since she showed herself on the part of some invader, receiving, although deservedly, what someone else could have had, she did not hear much praise, since heroes are not often honored. And she had to watch, be a spectator, feeling guilty, in a performance called “And now we will sympathize...” I don’t know how to say pleasant words and confess my feelings to people for a long time. Therefore, in some ways I envy those who have this gift. Or maybe I don’t want to have this gift. Being a victim, saying that something is not available to me, or that everything is bad because of something, and especially because of someone, is incredibly pleasant. Here you have laurels of sympathy from those around you, here you have warmth for the outcasts, the defeated. In short, in the victim’s field it can even be very cozy with many amenities and goodies in addition. Well, you can always fall on your back, showing your belly, throwing up your paws, saying, “Oh, I can’t... I’m a victim... The questions are not for me.” The easiest thing to do is to tell the world, and most importantly to yourself (but you also have to believe in it) that “I have to work in such a terrible place because I can’t find another job, and all the good places have long been taken away, and in general “It’s all about connections, and I’m one of mere mortals.” It’s easier to tell yourself - “Yes, I’m fat, because I don’t have time, since my time is taken up by work that I don’t like, and household chores that I hate...”. There are a lot of such statements about the unfortunate fate of the villainess. And no one denies the glass ceiling that exists and is present in many areas, but it also has an end. Hearing about such unfortunate fates, you want to stand up, hug the person and give him a purple order for the hard life that the poor man has to bear. I agree that there are times in life when you want to whine, saying that everything is terrible - and that’s normal. Life is cyclical - there cannot be a white stripe all the time, the black one must also be given a place. But, if you feel like you can hang a sign around your neck with the inscription “The Most Important Sacrifice,” then it’s time to think, do I even need it? Or rather, why do I need it at all? We are cunning creatures. Our unconscious is cunning and smart - benefit comes from everything, and nothing will be done just like that, if I don’t take something for it, I won’t get something. The worst thing in this role of a victim is actually starting to be one. After all, if you are a victim, then the attitude towards you is appropriate - they will feel sorry for you, but will not particularly take you into account, knowing your characteristics. And you, exactly you, simply will not be visible. Who is a victim anyway? “Sacrifice” - according to Ozhegov’s explanatory dictionary of the Russian language, means something brought to a deity as a gift (a living creature, any object) or an offering of a gift to the gods. Then the corresponding question arises - why are you doing this, what are you offering as a gift, that is, voluntarily giving? In the therapeutic space, working with people who have an active role as a victim, different feelings arise. Initially, a feeling of sympathy and pity arises, gradually turning into.