A client came to me and when asked: “What brought you to me?”, she answers: “I am an intelligent person.” (Here I tense up internally, because for me intelligence in a person is something elusive - whether it is there or not. And an intelligent person does not realize this in himself, he is essentially like that, he does not know how to be anything else) - And my mother was intelligent. And now she began to paint her lips and dress brightly. And we, intelligent people, should dress modestly, preferably in clothes of gray tones. A non-psychologist would say that this is the ravings of a madman. But I couldn’t say that, because she came to me as a specialist with her problem. What did I understand as a result of our work with her? Once upon a time there was a girl, the boys did not pay attention to her. And they turned on other girls. But a person is the sum of all his values ​​and internal attitudes, and it is his values ​​and internal attitudes that influence all his behavior. And a simple solution for that girl is to look at what those girls who attract the attention of boys do (perhaps they are charming and often smile, or they dress beautifully and fashionably, etc.), did not suit this girl. Some kind of value prevented her from asking advice from other people, or even just thinking that something was wrong with her. The person In order not to degrade, you need to have at least some, even the smallest, meaning in life. To respect ourselves and be proud of ourselves. And then our mind appears on the scene, and what it does, I call “Mind Games”. Our mind begins to “play” and at this moment causes us irreparable harm. Now guess for yourself what this Was there a game in that girl's mind? And what decision did he lead our girl to as a result of that game, did he influence her values ​​and internal attitudes? Think, on the one hand, a girl yearning for the attention of boys, and on the other hand, boys who do not want to notice her. It is precisely “those who do not want to” - i.e. the action lasted for some period, because values ​​and internal attitudes change only as a result of traumatic conditions. So, as a result of this girl’s being in conditions that are traumatic for her self-awareness as a person, a person, a future woman, the mind “plays” - it searches for how computer solution to the problem: - They don’t value me, they don’t notice me, they don’t like me, because…. Because…. Because….Yeah!! Understood!!! Because THEY ARE RAWNESS!!! - And those girls that they like... they are so beautiful (bright, smiling, etc.) They... they... they.... They…. Ahh! Understood! They are NOT INTELLIGENT!!!! As a result, the girl begins to dress in gray, be lonely - and at the same time be even more PROUD OF HERSELF! And then the mind, to justify the correctness of its decision, closes part of the world for the girl. The girl will no longer try to understand men and learns to build relationships with them (one of the tasks of our life). She will no longer strive to become stylish, fashionable and beautiful (finding herself as a Woman is the second task of our life). And about the need to understand herself, there is no need to talk about finding her true “I” at all - she is already a “star” in a world where all men are “cattle”, and women are the more beautiful, the “less intelligent”. But her mind is not omnipotent. And while the girl is 15-20 years old and she lives in her own illusory world created by her mind, where she is cooler than everyone else on earth, the situation does not seem to be critical. But when this girl turns 35-45 years old, and there is nothing like that in her life has changed - she is not married, and men do not pay attention to her at all, her inner world will begin to collapse, the outer world will begin to crush it. And when she begins to realize reality, what will happen to her is scary to even imagine. Although, perhaps most likely this will be the case, her mind will come up with a new game - in which middle-aged and unkempt (we want to be beautiful for our men, so a woman without a man next to her immediately gains weight, etc.), lonely and angry, this woman will also be proud myself, saying that men are terrible, and marriage is a nightmare, and love does not exist at all... Another example: I had an astrologer friend (he is now 70 years old, a very poor man), who is very important.