Often in life we ​​are faced with situations in which we feel helpless, unable to cope with the problem that has arisen. Is this feeling always true? And where does it arise from? Any life event in which a person becomes a participant, indirectly or directly, already puts him in the position of an active subject. This means that a person is forced to take on a certain responsibility associated with the situation in a given situation. The important point is the choice of this responsibility. Simply put, what can I do? What do I want to do? And what should I do (what are circumstances forcing me to do)? These three whales “I can, I want and I must” are more like the cancer swan and the pike from I.A.’s fable. Krylova - everyone pulls in his own direction. For example, I need to do it, but I don’t want to, or I want to, but I can’t. Self-confidence will help you harmonize these three components. It is the lack of self-confidence and negative cognitive attitudes, or, simply put, the fear of failure, that makes a person refuse to solve any problem on his own - to abdicate responsibility. And of course, the connection with emotional experiences is obvious; it is the emotion of fear, or vice versa, the blocking of emotions (“I was raised this way”) that prevents you from taking the first step. How does this happen? A person initially takes the position of a victim, that is, a creature without free will and irresponsibility. Attempts to transfer one’s responsibility for solving the current situation do not lead to success, since no one needs someone else’s responsibility, and even if they do, the success of the matter is far from guaranteed. Each of us sees the world in our own way, and we may not like how another person solves our problem. Shifting responsibility and accepting the role of a victim is one of the most popular methods of psychological defense. This is an opportunity to say that I or we can’t do anything, to do nothing and at the same time remain in harmony with our conscience. Explain with a variety of obstacles, fear of changing an uncomfortable situation. If a person is responsible for the outcome of his business, then in an unfavorable situation there will be no one to blame for the failure but himself, and for unstable self-esteem this is a heavy blow. In order for any situation to remain an invaluable experience for you, and not a scar in your soul in the first place give yourself the right to make mistakes, since any mistake first of all teaches. Free “I want” from the oppression of the almighty “I can’t”, therefore “I won’t”. In this way, you will get rid of the feeling of guilt before yourself and the world as a whole. It is impossible to be able to do everything at once, but everything can be learned, and at any age, the main thing is to wish. So “I want” will enter into an alliance with “I can.” When it comes to responsibility, it should be mentioned that not every responsibility should be taken upon yourself, but only that which belongs to you. Learn to divide responsibility into your own and someone else's. By taking on the responsibility of another person, you are harming him, not helping him. The most important thing on the path to success is to give up the old habit of your own powerlessness and accept responsibility for your life and move towards a clearly formulated goal.