Breaking up with the person you loved or was in love with is a painful process. It’s not easy to break up, but when you break up, you understand that the worst thing is what happens next. This state is very similar to the withdrawal symptoms of a person who has stopped using drugs - depression, guilt, self-pity, anxiety, fears, anger, despair and obsessive thoughts - “I did/did something wrong... I should have given in/insisted ... Everything could have been different... What if we still have a chance..." etc. to infinity. A person loses peace, cannot sleep normally, cannot eat (he goes hungry or overeats), cannot concentrate, does not see anything or anyone around him, behaves like a zombie. On the Internet you can find a lot of materials devoted to getting out of this state. Many of these tips and instructions are really practical and useful. Strict implementation of such recommendations can actually alleviate the condition and help overcome the crisis. But something doesn't work out. Someone or something is constantly preventing you from following the voice of reason. It feels like the whole world is against it and is plotting, forcing a person to live in the past and continue to suffer. Let's try to figure out why this can happen and what can be done. Regardless of who initiated the breakup, the person with whom we were very close for some time disappeared, leaving an emptiness in our souls. It's similar to how people feel when they lose an arm or a leg. You look where a part of you used to be, and you don’t see anything there, you want to move a limb, but there’s nothing to move. A person filled a certain place in our heart, now there is a painful wound in this place. But the question is, what was there before we met the one with whom we recently broke up? Was there something there or was there always emptiness there? What did we hide with our loved one - loneliness, some fears? What did we forget about when we were with him - what sorrows and grievances? All this has now come to light and is affecting us with renewed vigor. If all this is so, there are at least two solutions - find a new patch or prosthesis for the wound (a new friend, a new passion) or cure it yourself, growing new flesh in place of the old (very old) wound and filling it with your blood, your meaning and your soul. Both of these options have their positive and negative sides. The advantage of the first way (patch or prosthesis option) is that it is easier. Yes, no matter how cynical it sounds, finding a new passion is not difficult. Moreover, if you do nothing, after some time, the patch or prosthesis will find you on its own. We covered the spiritual emptiness with our loved one, but most likely he (she) also closed some kind of emptiness in his soul with us. That is, you were a patch or a prosthesis for him. You fit each other like a key to a lock, you unconsciously looked for each other. One fine day you found each other and united into a complementary whole. You complemented each other in much the same way as a crayfish and an anemone. The crayfish hides in a huge sea anemone shell, where there is room for both him and her. The sea anemone feeds on what it carries in its claws - there is enough food for two. Something went wrong and you broke up, but besides him and her, there were millions of lock people and key people, crayfish people and sea anemone people left on earth. And they are also looking for their other half. Sooner or later you will meet “your” person, and who knows, maybe he will suit you more than the previous one. There are truths and disadvantages. You may become dependent on your loved one. There is a fear of losing him. This fear creates a desire to control it. Control leads to resistance from your partner, tension grows between you, fear develops into insane jealousy and boom! Again, a painful breakup and the search for a new prosthesis. And that's the best case scenario. Often people live like this with each other, either going into a state of cold war or deploying heavy artillery. It happens that for various reasons the prosthesis stops working and can no longer fully close the hole in the soul. Then people!