Recently I was asked about how to learn to resist manipulators and aggressors in the family. What approaches to use with them in order to more or less neutralize them. However, let's think about why we are manipulated and show any unpleasant and destructive actions? Don't we allow this to happen to ourselves? And what to do about it, how to change the situation? In general - in any relationship - the question, first of all, comes down to the fact that a person needs to understand his own needs and desires as clearly as possible. When we know exactly what we want and what we really need, in this case, we begin not only to clearly communicate our needs to others, but more firmly defend our own boundaries, even with harsh manipulation. Yes, we can retreat when faced with an obvious aggressor, but we are aware of this - we retreated not because we caved in and are ready to act to please the aggressor and to the detriment of ourselves, but because in this case it was more reasonable. Knowing our true boundaries, we will act wiser next time and not allow this to happen. But the main idea is that we must know our boundaries, and for this we need to clearly and clearly understand ourselves. This is the first step in resisting manipulation and other destructive acts. Therefore, the primary question is not about behavior, but about the ability to know, study and understand oneself. The point is that when we know exactly what we want and what we don’t want, it becomes difficult to manipulate us, or, more precisely, inconvenient and unprofitable. Since, firstly, we clearly and unambiguously convey our needs to others - this is important, because manipulators make excellent use of our ambiguity and understatement. And secondly, we defend our positions more firmly, since now we have something to defend, and not as before, “well, maybe nothing bad will happen if I give in...”. As a result, we are much less likely not only to succumb to any destructive influences, but in general we are much less likely to attract people who are inclined to manipulate others. In other words, if the role of such people is played by strangers (colleagues, neighbors), they simply prefer not to contact us. If our loved ones act as manipulators and aggressors, they are forced to change their usual tactics of behavior. And the “cherry on the cake” is that if the manipulators are our own children, they change along with us. As they say, if you want to change your child, start with yourself. __________________Psychological assistance, support and consultation with a specialist in eating disorders - http://psyhealth.ru/