From the author: Interview on the topic “Conflicts” on TDK TV To better understand what happens to us during a conflict, we first need to understand what a conflict is? What is its nature? Conflict is your chance to become more whole. If there is a contradiction, there is a conflict. The conflict itself is sometimes less harmful than the tension that is held within. A contradiction appears - it would be nice to immediately discuss it and resolve it. Aggression must be neutralized at an early stage. Conflicts always teach you something. Chronic conflict – chronic learning. Chronic symptoms are like conflicts. What are the causes of conflict? The causes of conflict can be varied. There are global conflicts: religious, political, interethnic, and they manifest themselves not only at the level of countries, nationalities, but also in the family. Conflict between boss and subordinate, senior and junior, between partners, between representatives of generations. Conflict is an opportunity to learn, just like in martial arts. What is hidden behind the external behavior of the parties to the conflict? It is important to observe everyone in conflict. It is not necessary to resolve the conflict on an intellectual level, but it is necessary to express emotions. Is it possible to learn to anticipate a conflict situation and prevent it? Of course it is possible. Not the first time, but a person learns to recognize the beginning of a conflict, although sometimes there is a conflict that is not manifested; people live in conflict for a long time without noticing it. This is about those “rose-colored” glasses and the “ostrich” position... If yes, then how? Speak. Look forward to. And it is often better to enter into conflict than to avoid it. Should we always try to prevent conflicts? No. It is not always necessary to prevent, and it is not always possible. It is important not to be afraid of conflict. The more open you are to conflict, the easier it is to resolve. If we suppress some parts in ourselves, then we suppress them in others, if we accept them in ourselves, then we accept them in others. The greater the awareness of the internal parts in oneself, the greater the flexibility in resolving the conflict. Reconciliation in conflict is a short-term resolution. If you win and your partner loses, you will worry, the tension will not go away (and vice versa). Such relationships do not have a long-term relationship (cyclicality). All parties must be understood and heard. Are conflicts really that bad? Is there any positive aspect to them? Conflicts are not only not harmful, they are important, they provide an opportunity to learn, grow and develop. It is important to learn how to interact in conflict. What does a child learn during conflict? It depends on which one. If there is a conflict on the playground, that’s one thing. When a child is between two fires (mom-dad, parents-grandparents) - it’s different. It is important not to drag children into your squabbles, to protect him. There is a parable about a child, two women claimed to be his mother, each said that she was the mother of this child, they each began to pull him in their own direction, the child was practically torn apart, he cried. One woman let go. This was my own mother. She took care of her child's life. What harm does conflict bring? If the conflict is protracted, has no way out, when there is no competent solution, when opponents walk in circles and step on the same rake - then the conflict leads to destructive consequences. When there is avoidance of expression of emotions, containment of negativity within oneself. How does it affect each side? Even the winner is bad. Often the winners are not entirely happy with their victory. The defeated person thirsts for revenge and... Is it possible to allow a child to emerge from a conflict as a winner? Just about the winners. There are no winners or losers. It is important to find resolution or express your claims, your expectations, your anxieties. Doesn't this undermine the authority of parents in their eyes? Initially, the authority of parents is indisputable; parents themselves, through their actions (not only in conflict), often lead relationships into conflict. They are adults, big, wise, and they have the power to build a relationship with a child competently. No one escaped in their.