From the author: Continuing the topic of raising children, I want to talk about how parents unknowingly deprive their child of childhood. Parents with the best intentions are intensely involved in the development of their children, and at this moment the child is deprived of his childhood. Communication in unequal social groups Is it worth giving preference to a prestigious school? This question worries many parents. It is clear that you want only the best for your child. But will he be better off in an expensive elite school? Let’s be honest, not everyone’s financial situation allows them to study in prestigious places. In such schools, children and financially secure families have all the latest gadgets, branded clothing, they constantly fly abroad on vacation. And a child who does not have this feels disadvantaged. The stratification in the class is striking. And a child from a more modest family cannot join the group of more affluent children. This traumatizes the child’s already delicate psyche. The best way out is to give the child a choice. You need to tell him that there is a wonderful school where they give an excellent education, after which wonderful prospects open up, but all the students there are from very rich families and have things that we cannot buy for you. And if the child says that he really wants to study there, to get a good education, and if you agree to look very modest compared to your classmates, then let him study. And if he has a complex and doesn’t want to stand out from others, then send him to another school where ordinary children study. It is important to explain to the child that not all adults earn the same. And therefore their children have different things: some have more money, others someone cheaper. If a child understands this and wants to study in a good school, there is no need to prevent this. In addition, such stratification in the class has its advantages. Children of less wealthy families look at others and feel a feeling of envy. And this motivates them to get a good education, find a good job and receive a significant salary for it. A child from a simple family, studying at a prestigious school, from childhood sees the example of successful people and strives to become the same and even better. Emotions Another problem of our time is the excessive emotionality of the mother. She can be unrestrained in showing emotions, including negative ones. And sometimes she takes it out on the child. Especially when he hurt her with something or caused an outburst of irritation. Then the mother is tormented by guilt, and she diligently loves her child. And such behavior, figuratively speaking, suffocates the child. Therefore, first of all, you need to solve your problems and deal with your inner world. But we are all human, we are all subject to passions and sometimes we cannot restrain our emotions. What to do about it? A small child will never do anything on purpose or out of spite. He has no need to upset mom and dad so that they scream and swear. A child is an indicator of the internal atmosphere in the family. Not an external image, but an internal one. When parents restrain and suppress anger, irritation and other strong emotions, while outwardly remaining calm and benevolent, the child feels precisely the internal state. He does not look at the mask that is on his face. The child looks much deeper. And therefore, seeing happy parents with a nervous and hysterical child, you understand that not everything in this family is as smooth as it seems. What parents consider unacceptable in a child’s behavior is a reflection of their own internal problems. For example, a mother is annoyed when the child jumps, plays and screams. Why? Because she can’t do it herself. Or rather, he doesn’t allow himself to. And my mother suppresses this desire within herself. And when she sees that someone else can do this, it irritates her. It is important to understand this point. However, there are situations when a child really gets mad. I want to yell at him, scold him. It is better to do this than to suppress your emotions. It is better to yell at a child than to silently turn around and leave. It’s better to throw out the negativity once than to accumulate it and/