From the author: This article is not against love, but quite the opposite, in favor of choosing a partner out of love for yourself, and, consequently, for him. After all, if you don’t love yourself in your choice, then with what part of yourself can you love another? Relationships are a part of our life that cannot be called secondary. Our well-being, our mood every day, our state of mind, our comfort and quality of life depend on this. I know that many of you have thought about choosing your partner or are already in a relationship. Both of them have some criteria by which they choose the person they want to be with. And these criteria are approximately the following - what HE or SHE should be like. In our thoughts we imagine these people. Beautiful, cheerful, with a good job, with prospects. And, of course, men imagine luxurious beauties preparing delicious borscht, and women imagine wealthy, serious men who are able to listen and understand. There are many happy couples who found each other this way. But statistics also tell us about numerous divorces, in which, unfortunately, there are victims. This is sad. And it’s especially sad when children suffer from this. But what if we come from the other end? Stop looking for a prince or princess, and look at your needs that you would like to realize next to another person... And the first thing you should start with is to find out this for yourself. When your soulmate appears, then along with him (her), many more things will appear - people, events, things, smells, voice intonations and even new words, moods, taste preferences, a different way of life will appear next to you. What do you want to be surrounded by? Which things? What people? Listen to yourself. Take a closer look and feel it. Do not hurry. Do you need the smell of the sea? What about alcohol? Do you want to see more smiles? Perhaps you are more attracted to serious, concentrated faces. How do you want your home to look? Is it possible for all this to happen next to the one you choose? Secondly, having everything that you have clarified for yourself from the first point - what would you like to do in this environment? To live an active lifestyle? Perhaps, on the contrary, lie on the sofa. Be annoyed, offended, nervous or happy, joke, laugh often? Perhaps you are the person who cannot live a day without 50 hugs, and then it will be very difficult for you to live with a person for whom physical touch is unusual and, therefore, not very necessary. Think about what you want to do, or NOT do, next to your companion. Third point. What abilities would you like to show next to your “half”? Maybe you like to dance? Maybe you want to show your tenderness and softness? Or maybe you are a woman, but would like to be the head of the family, it’s more familiar to you. Or you, a man, would you like to be successful next to your lady? What would her presence inspire you, and not vice versa? Look, listen, feel. What kind of person suits these abilities and needs of yours? Who will support your ambitions, skills, competencies? What exactly? Next to whom will you develop, and next to whom will you feel third-class? What is good for you and what is bad for you? What needs would you like to fulfill while being around another person? What is your need for self-realization and HOW will you self-realize in the company of another? The fourth, very important point is your values, attitudes, principles, global goals. What are your life principles, what exactly leads you through life? What is an unshakable value for you. What attitudes and rules will you never get along with? And what will you never put up with? What is acceptable for you and what is nonsense for you? Will you have common goals? Is it important for you that the person next to you is on your side? What is he like? What is his outlook on life? On people? On relationships? Fifth - What kind of person do you see yourself next to others? BY WHOM? What kind of man? What woman? Which mother or which.