By observing, participating as a client, conducting constellations as a constellation (student), and constantly reflecting on this work, I came to some conclusions that I want to share with you , dear colleagues and readers. Margaret Barth, the constellation from whom I study, once told us at a study group that if one of the partners in a marriage or relationship begins a connection with another person (or has a desire to have this connection), then this can often mean that his partner ALREADY HAS such a connection. And with this connection, he wants to, as it were, balance the already existing one - with his partner. In constellations, we see this when there is a request on the topic: There is something interfering with our relationship. And when this SOMETHING is presented as a separate figure, you can see what it could be: a former partner (meetings and intimacy may no longer exist, but a strong emotional connection remains); a parent from whom he never separated; someone who died , to whom they were never able to say goodbye; a child who replaces the spouse and takes his place. This happens in the following options: One of the partners starts a relationship. The partner may not know this. Or not understand and fully understand. But his soul feels loneliness - because a loved one is not with him. It is very difficult to withstand this for a long time. And then he also gets in touch. This is not necessarily adultery, it can be any strong emotional connection. Men and women who are no longer free for relationships (already having a relationship - for example, one of them is dependent on a parent) intuitively choose the same. And so they live until one of them becomes tired of it. Or until the soul of one of them makes the final choice in favor of a new partner. Communication performs two important functions: 1) maintains balance, and therefore the system itself from collapse; 2) further alienates the partners from each other. There is only one option here - both partners go to therapy. And stop the endless triangulation: saying goodbye to the dead, separating from your parents, paying tribute to former partners, ending old (or new - depending on what your soul decides) connections. By the way, a triangle often turns into a quadrangle (the film “Closer” with Julia Roberts), and then these angles can multiply... Arrangements are one of the most effective methods here, because they allow you to look at the situation from the outside and see your feelings and needs and close people; allow you to resolve or complete unfinished relationships with those people with whom you cannot do this for some reason in real life; the arrangement indirectly (through you) affects the entire system as a whole. For non-residents, consultation via Skype is possible SkypeLogin: ksenia.4_2013